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Unlike other people, Eden doesn't question when I need space. She respects it. The thing I love most about her is that she doesn't feel that everyone around her has to be happy for her to be happy. She's confident in her own self-worth. Other than her sister or Sergio, she’s okay knowing that people around her aren't happy or that someone is struggling. She may offer to help them, but she never lets their situation rob her of her peace. Eden doesn't press or insist that I tell her anything. She just reaches for my hand and gives it a little squeeze.
"You know I don't like to stay in one place for too long. I start to feel like I've overstayed my welcome."I close my mouth quickly. I didn't mean to say that. I always laugh off my need to move somewhere new as something of a quirk. I tell myself I don't like to stay in one place too long, I like to couch surf, I want to see the world, I don't have a long attention span, I like to meet new people, et cetera.
It's true that I don't like to overstay my welcome. My grandmother was excellent at reminding me daily, in vivid detail, how much I cost them to raise, what a pain it was to have to raise a child all over again, and how I wasn't their child,blah blah blah. And I guess I internalized that. I don't like feeling like someone has to take care of me.
I wouldn't go so far as to say that I'm the type that likes to take care of other people, I know that. But I do try to be loyal.
That’s why when I made my vows to Adriano, I meant them. But it doesn't mean I'm cool with sticking around or that it comes easily to me.
I want to leave so badly it hurts.
But that isn't the most important thing on my mind right now. It's just the easiest one to talk about.
The door opens and Sergio walks in.
Eden's face lights up. God, she loves him. I'm glad for her. She deserves that.
What would I do right now if Adriano walked in?
I realize with a bolt of shock…I miss him. And while I'm not totally at peace with everything, it's definitely the most I've ever enjoyed time with a man in my life.
Maybe that's why I want to leave? Because I fear that I might… Oh,fuck. Love him?
Oh. My. God. Love him. I love him. I love his intensity and energy, how he’s unafraid to stand up for what he believes in. I love how he’s courageous and willing to take risks, with a strong moral code that values loyalty and the people he loves.
The people he loves.
He accepts me for who I am and won’t settle for anything but the best for me. Protective to a fault. He’s determined to make a better world for me.
I love him.
I think I’m going to throw up.
"Hello everybody!" Flo sings as she saunters in with a huge tray of mini sandwiches.
Marialena follows with a bottle of wine in each hand, trailed by her brother, Mario, and Eden’s sister, Starla.
"I’ll only drink the sparkling water, I promise," Starla assures Eden.Smiling, she plunks herself down in an overstuffed chair in the corner of the room. Eden and Sergio didn’t want Starla anywhere near the club, but this area’s sectioned off for parties and social gatherings so they’ve compromised, and only when she’s with Timeo.
Timeo enters next, followed by a few more of Sergio's men.
I gave him a critical look. "How many people are coming?"
"I may have told people that Marialena was bringing Rossi family wine," Sergio says.
Mario holds up a tray in his hands. "And I brought cannoli."
The Rossi family wine and cannoli are two of the most popular things in the North End. They sell out on the weekends before lunchtime and take holiday orders months in advance.
Mario walks right over to me. "The newlywed first."
"I actually ate something called ‘cannoli pie’ the other day," Marialena says, handing out wineglasses.
"What the fuck is a cannoli pie?" Mario glares at her, as if she's just suggested that he become a Yankees fan instead of a Red Sox fan. That, my friends, would be the ultimate form of betrayal.
"Well, instead of pie crust, it was literally a cannoli shell. The filling is like the inside of a cannoli, and it’s dusted with powdered sugar. Believe me when I tell you, it was nothing like your cannoli."
Mario guffaws. "As if there was even a chance."
