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So, it wasn’t that I didn’t want to take our relationship to that next level.
I just… never knew what he was thinking.
And I hadn’t even told him I loved him yet. But then, I wasn’t surprised. Jamie and I never talked about our personal emotions like that. Including the emotions we experienced toward each other. Part of me wondered if he even felt the same way.
As the Mario song came to an end, a more ethereal, dance beat reminiscent of something out of the 80’s started up.
“Do you wanna dance?” Jamie asked.
“Sure.”
He extended his arms behind my back and pulled me in toward him. I leaned my head against his chest which beat rapidly against my face. His fingers lingered over the small of my back. We shifted together, flowing with the beat of the song. A series of spotlights, shaped as tiny stars, danced across the ceiling and over us as we continued to move.
“Do you ever think that the universe places things into pieces? The way you would fit together a puzzle…” Jamie whispered. “Like… little blocks which make up the fabric of time and space… and everything falls where it belongs. And everything happens according to that plan.”
“I guess I’ve never thought of it that way,” I said. “Which makes you wonder… if things are predestined to be a certain way. If maybe our idea of freewill is misconceived. If we’re all destined to make the same mistakes, because we were always going to be who we were in that moment of time. No matter the variables… and end up in exactly the same future.”
“All the pain. We’re meant to experience it. Every single one of us. Because… the pieces work together, bridging humanity… and moving us all forward…”
I mulled over his statement for a second, letting the ideas roll around in my mind. I chewed on my tongue as a dark realization gripped me.
“So, you’re saying… that when we feel pain… it’s for the greater good of humanity?” I laughed. “Yeah, I don’t think so, Jamie.”
“And there she is.” His chest rose and fell quickly, staccato style, as he let out a stifled laugh. “I was totally wondering how long it would take for you to argue with me. Agreeing seemed uncharacteristic.”
“I don’t always have to disagree with you.”
He let out a loud chortle. “Oh yeah?”
“Uh, yeah.”
“No way.” He shook his head. “That’s what we do. We get into these epic debates that go majorly down the rabbit hole… until we’re not even sure how it started and whether or not we agree with whatever the hell it is we’re even saying anymore. Or if we’re just doing it to fight each other.”
“Do you want me to keep disagreeing with you about your universe and pieces theory? Because I can keep going.”
He let out a slower breath, shaking his head. I didn’t have to look up to know he had a grin on his face.
“No. What I’m saying is… we fit together, right now, perfectly in this moment. And there isn’t anywhere else I’m meant to be but here with you.”
I froze against his chest, wordless, my heart pounding. We swayed together as the song played out, our tongues tied, the silence cocooning us in a thick, warm layer. I felt safe in his embrace, the safest I’d ever felt in my entire life. A part of that stemmed from the fact that, with him, I knew I could share this human connection with another being without either of us having to dig deep into the terrors that haunted beneath the surface. We could just… be.
“Jamie,” I said, eventually. “Thank you.”
“For what?”
“Being here with me.”
The music ended then, and he pulled back from me, still holding my hands in his with our arms outstretched toward one another. Together, our arms dangled in the shape of a V. Jamie tilted his brow, looking at me uncertainly.
“Jemma…” he murmured.
“Yes?” I asked.
There was a glint in his eyes as he whispered, “The thing is… I think…”
“Jamie!” A female voice shrieked from behind. We jerked back, hands still linked, as Melissa darted toward us, her velvet red dress shimmering in the light. Dark, curly ringlets bounced as she moved. “Hey! You still owe me a dance!”
“You… what?” I asked, bewildered. Jamie’s eyes flashed in her direction. He glanced back at me, then back at her, then back at me again.
