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Fuck. I’d obviously never been able to walk on water like this, either.
My brows narrowed as I stood, totally aware that this was not my kitchen floor any longer. Had I died? Was I dreaming? Maybe Jamie had in fact come to collect me, just as I’d hypothesized.
Hashtag… fucking trippy, man.
I stretched my arms in front of me. They glowed with an aura similar to the way Jamie’s body glowed. I touched my flesh, the skin as real as any other time.
If this was a dream, I’d never experienced anything quite like it.
“We’re in your subconscious mind.” Jamie’s words sent a shiver through me.
I twisted around, body moving with ease. Legs moving much more freely than I’d ever felt before. With a lack of heavy weight which I’d grown accustomed to in my thirty-two years of life. I felt as light as a feather.
A thick halo clung around Jamie’s form. He smiled at me, wearing the same t-shirt and khakis he’d had on in the kitchen. Except now, the sadness from earlier had melted away, and he was back to being the spirit who had first entered my life again after so many years.
He held out the palm of his hand.
“Not to get all Aladdin up in here but… do you trust me?” he asked, showing me a set of perfectly white teeth through his open-mouthed grin.
“I guess so.” I accepted his hand, and he pulled me in toward him. As I neared his body, an upbeat, gentle guitar strummed out a peaceful melody. Our skin grazed, my arms heated up. His arms found their way around the small of my back, and I leaned into his chest. The vibration along my face increased, flowing down through the core of my body and out my legs. I let out a happy sigh.
A warmth crept through me, though I was both relieved and fearful of this closeness. Fearful that Jamie would leave me again. Fearful that it was only a matter of time before I heard him say, “You know I could never love you, right?”
I backed away from the touch, Jamie hanging on to the tips of my fingers as I stepped.
“Just… shut your eyes for a moment,” Jamie said, giving me a reassuring tone. “I want to show you something.”
I shut my eyes about to question him, but I stopped myself. I wondered if this would end up in some kind of way like the movie Inception. Closing my eyes, drifting further into unconsciousness. Drifting deeper into the abyss. Being in the dream of a dream of a dream…
The energy shifted around us. A cool brush of air landed over my limbs.
When I opened my eyes again, Jamie still held on to the tips of my fingers. We stood in the middle of a wintry bliss, white covering the black tar of a Safeway parking lot. Unlike our previous surroundings, this place had little to no coloring. Where there should have been green grass, snowbanks occupied the same space. Little flecks of white drifted downward, flakes landing on the top of my head and on the sleeveless top I still wore.
I instinctively wrapped my arms over my body… until I realized I felt no cooler than I had sitting on the floor of my kitchen, whether or not I wrapped myself in my own body heat.
“What…” I started to say, voice soft.
“You won’t feel the environment. Not really, anyway. We’re not really here.” Jamie shrugged his shoulders, grip tightening over my hand. “Come on, follow me.”
We glided over a sidewalk that should’ve been slippery, beneath a canopy with a cart corral, and over to the very back of the Safeway lot. I recognized this location known as Southeast Portland—I’d come here a few times. It wasn’t the closest Safeway to where I lived, but it was one of the closest ones.
“Funny we never ran into each other then,” Jamie said, stopping us by a blue Ford Focus… a 2007, judging by the older shape.
“2006,” he corrected, focusing his gaze back at the store. As his serious expression stayed on the front of those doors, I casually observed the two of us. Standing around in the middle of this wintry scene wearing practically summer clothing.
I let out a loud snort.
“What?” he asked, for once so concentrated on something else he obviously hadn’t been reading my thoughts. Or paying attention, anyway. My nose twitched.Wait.It couldn’t be that I felt slighted he wasn’t paying me his full attention, right?
“Never thought I’d have on short sleeves in the snow,” I said, internally shaking away my previous thoughts.
A moment later, before Jamie had a chance to respond, we watched as Jamie—obviously, Jamie from years ago—stepped out of the store. Unlike the two of us dressed for warmer weather, this rendition of Jamie wore a heavy, espresso colored jacket. He rubbed his gloves together for heat as he trudged toward us, a dark shadow cast over his person the entire way. There was a slowness to his step. He hunched forward as he walked, never gazing up.
A woman followed behind him. A pregnant woman.Oh. Now I understood. This must’ve been the night he saw his ex-girlfriend. The story he’d told me. Right before the end of his life…
The woman wore a heavy jacket over her dress, showing later months of pregnancy. She called his name, it seemed. Though all I saw were the movements of her mouth. Jamie from the past stopped. From the looks of it, they exchanged a few words. Then, he gave her a dismissive wave. Turned around. Headed toward us.
The woman gave him a half-smile, curly hair beginning to dampen from the snow. She watched after him for a moment, then turned and went back inside.
