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I kissed him once more, running my fingers under his shirt. My fingers grazed soft hairs on his stomach. I reached for his shirt, beginning to lift it off of him. His hands found mine beneath the material, and he stopped me.
“Jemma,” he breathed. “I would love nothing more than to take you upstairs… and make love to you.”
“So, why do you keep hesitating?”
“Because…”
I kissed him again, hands breaking away from his and running up his chest.
“Jesus Jemma.” He let out a low breath which caught in his throat. “You have no idea what this is doing to me. Whatyoudo to me.”
“Then… just let go. Be with me. While we can.” I kissed his lips once more. A deep, lingering kiss.
His hands snaked under my legs, running up my hips before slipping beneath my shirt. Goosebumps formed along my skin as his fingers ran up and down the small of my back. I unbuttoned my shirt, sliding the sleeves off and tossing the cloth in the direction of the TV. He planted repetitive soft kisses against my cheek while he pulled off his own shirt and threw it into the air. I didn’t have to look to know the material had evaporated into nothingness, the same way he’d once thrown away the large cards he held in my kitchen.
I grinned, realizing so much had changed from only a few weeks ago when I didn’t want anything to do with him. Now, here we were…
I’d given him my heart. But, unlike fifteen years ago, we had both given our hearts to each other.
He unbuttoned his khakis, slipping them off along with his underwear, while I shimmied out of my jeans and underwear.
“I’m surprised you even bother with those,” I said, nodding to his boxers.
“Like I mentioned before,” he breathed, cupping his hands behind my neck and leaning us back against the blanket. Then, barely a whisper, “Force of habit.”
“How does this work?” I asked. His naked body warmed mine, feeling as much like flesh as the time we had been here before. I shivered under his embrace, his bulge below pressing against my inner thigh.
“I don’t know. I’ve never done this before,” he said, grinning. A moment later, his expression faded back to neutral. His eyes grew serious, darker than before, though they didn’t lose the sharpness in their color against the light of the TV. “Jemma. Are you completely positive? I’m… I’m not in a physical body anymore. I can’t stay. I can’t give you the relationship you deserve.”
“Do you think I could ever be with anybody else?” I admitted. The words were so automatic, so instinctive, that I almost didn’t even know where they had come from.
“What?” he asked.
“Do you really think I could be with anyone else, whether or not you stay, after what we’ve shared together?”
“Jems, I would never want you to hold on to me. You need to move on after this and—”
I placed a finger to his lips, hushing him.
“I am moving on, Jamie. I’m moving on from the life I lived before you showed back up in it. I’m moving on from so much of the past. I’m trying… oh, I’m so desperately trying… to break the cycle I got caught up in.” I kissed his lips and then continued. “You said it yourself earlier. I keep our connection alive. It’s true. No matter what happens after this. No matter when you leave. You’re always going to be in my heart. I’ll keep you right here with me. For the rest of my life.”
I grabbed his left hand and brushed my thumb up and down the area where a ring might have been. I said, “For better or for worse… sickness and health… I wouldn’t be able to get you out of my heart. Even if I tried.”
“For better or for worse.” His eyes scanned mine, studying me with an intent I couldn’t quite read. His lips fell over my mouth, quickly pecking me, before he reached for my left hand and mirrored what I had been doing, tracing his thumb along my ring finger. “You know the feeling is mutual, my love.”
He dropped his hold over my hand and slid his hands back behind my head, cradling me in his arm. I placed another soft kiss over his lips, and he pressed his back against mine. Our mouths finding each other. At first, slowly. Then, the kisses quickened, rapidly morphing into feverish movements. My hands gripped tightly onto his back as he pressed inside me. There was no pressure like I was used to from Dave or as had been with Jamie when we slept together fifteen years ago. Instead, it was as though I fit around Jamie like the perfect glove, made specially for his body.
I tingled all over as we found each other once again, breathing heavily while he pushed in and out.
“Jemma?” he asked breathily, his hands wound through my hair, forehead pressed against mine.
“Yeah?” I asked, barely able to even get out that much.
“Do you want to know why… we fit… this way? Why… I’m here?”
“Why?” A loud breath escaped my mouth.
His lips hungrily covered mine, our breathing increasing, matching the speed of our quick movements against each other’s bodies. We reached the peak, boiling over as we once had so many years ago. Except… this time… something magical had worked its way all over my body, between us, through us, surrounding us. A cocoon of warmth, love, and passion heated everything around us, from my legs to the crown of my head.
