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He never wanted it to end, but as the sun began to head across the sky and into their second night together, he was more profoundly aware that their time together was short. The ticking clock hovering above him was relentless. And there was no way to slow it down.
“Talk to me,” Oliver said, drawing Victor back into the moment.
Victor met his gaze and sighed. “It’s nothing.”
Oliver traced a touch around his lips. “Still my pretty boy, even when you lie right to my face.”
Victor flushed. “It’s not important.”
Oliver hummed with a frown, like he didn’t believe Victor, but he didn’t press the issue. Instead, he rolled Victor onto his side, then hooked a leg over his hip. Oliver wasn’t hard, and Victor’s erection had softened, but he didn’t feel like chasing it again. Being held was better with the way his feelings were howling against his chest like hurricane winds.
His eyes slipped closed, and he didn’t open them, not even when Oliver began to trace over his features.
“Tell me a story,” Oliver said.
Victor let out a slow breath. “Starting with once upon a time?”
Oliver laughed. “If you want. But I’d prefer a real story. Tell me about your first kiss.”
With a small groan, Victor moved in closer. “Her name was Miranda. She was known for being one of the nicest girls at school.”
“How old were you?” Oliver asked.
Victor let his forehead fall against Oliver’s shoulder. “Sixteen. I didn’t think I was ever going to get kissed by then. I knew I’d get married. I was going to inherit far too much money to not get married. But I didn’t think anyone would ever want to touch me like that.”
Oliver lifted Victor’s face and pressed their lips together. “Like this?”
“Mm.” Victor rarely thought about this memory. He had a feeling Oliver wanted a sweet story, but Victor didn’t have very many of them. His life was very privileged in most ways, and he had an ocean of good memories to comfort him on bad days. But there were parts of his past that were never going to feel kind.
And this was one of them.
“Was she nice to you?”
Victor opened his eyes and met Oliver’s dark gaze. “Yes. She started sitting with me and my friends at lunch. She asked me to walk her to class, which was kind of ridiculous at the time because I was very slow back then. I’d just gone through a surgery—”
“Right before Jamaica,” Oliver asked, and when Victor looked surprised, he rolled his eyes. “I’m a really good listener.”
Victor grinned. “It appears so.” He cupped Oliver’s face, tracing his jaw with his thumb. “I told her she was going to be late, and she said she didn’t care. The art wing was down this ramp at my school—right off the gym. The bell rang, and we were only halfway there, but she didn’t seem bothered.” Victor paused and felt a tiny echo of the pain and humiliation he’d gone through all those years ago. “We stopped by the entrance to the art hall, and she rested her back against the wall. I…I thought I knew what she was asking for. I’d seen people do that a thousand times.”
“Victor…”
He shrugged. “I leaned in and kissed her. She screamed and shoved me away, and suddenly, there were people laughing.”
Oliver was looking down at the places their chests were pressed together. “Why did she do it?”
“A dare,” Victor said. “I ran into her years later, and apparently, she’d been carrying all this guilt over it.”
“Good,” Oliver said viciously. He looked up at Victor. “I hope she choked on it.”
Victor smiled and held Oliver a little closer. “I’d let it go well before she did. It wasn’t worth it to hold on for so long.”
“I just don’t understand how they don’t see you.”
“They do,” Victor told him simply. “They just value things about me differently than I value myself. People are superficial. They look at me and some people might see their worst nightmare. They see someone whose life they can’t imagine living. It scares the living shit out of them, and frankly, I’ve never met anyone I cared about enough to change their minds. I know my own worth.”
“But you were willing to marry Alice,” Oliver pointed out.
Victor winced, but Oliver wasn’t necessarily wrong. He just didn’t understand. “I didn’t want to marry her because I thought I was worth less than someone who didn’t really love me. I wanted to marry her because I thought maybe I would feel less alone. Right now, I’m just grateful I figured out it wasn’t worth it before she had any real claim to my life.”
