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Victor choked on a laugh. “I can’t say I’ve ever used one.”
“Right. Yeah, see, I’m starting to get to know your pattern, sweetheart. But that’s not what I asked. I asked how youfeelabout them.”
Victor felt a sudden punch of nerves in his chest. “I don’t know.”
“That’s fair. But would you give one a try if I told you that they had a thing at the zoo where you can feed a capybara?”
Victor closed his eyes and willed himself to say no, but the word never came. Instead, he dug his fingers into Oliver’s hips, pulled him close, then kissed him on the edge of the words “Whatever you want, angel. Anything you want.”
And that was that.
Chapter15
Oliver tended notto let himself feel guilty when something he suggested turned out to be a disaster, but he couldn’t help the little pang after watching Victor run the scooter into the standing holding key chains and postcards not once. Not twice. But four times before giving up.
In the end, he went with a manual wheelchair, which he navigated with an ease Oliver wasn’t expecting. But it was obvious Victor was used to one, and he wished he’d suggested that instead of trying to make him figure out a motorized contraption that was clearly not designed for someone with his disdain for technology.
Biting his nails, Oliver followed a few paces behind before Victor turned to look at him, then rolled his eyes, spun the chair with a quick flick of one wrist, and used his free hand to snag Oliver by the fingers and pull him close.
“Why are you upset?”
“Because I embarrassed you,” Oliver told him. He took a breath and hated himself for his next words. “It’s our last day together, and I made it suck.”
Victor raised his brows, then pulled Oliver down a little further. “I kicked you out of the bedroom this morning because my legs were spasming so badly I couldn’t get to the toilet before I pissed my pants. Do you really want to challenge me on who embarrassed whom?”
Oliver felt his cheeks pink a little, but that was mostly for Victor, not because of what happened. He’d seen the pain on his face that morning—and his struggle. He’d seen him almost lose out to Oliver’s offer to stay and help, but Oliver had known in that moment it would have broken him.
Glancing around to make sure there weren’t any angry homophobes ready to cause a scene, Oliver cupped Victor’s cheek and pressed a soft kiss to his lips. “Fine. We both win. Clean slate?”
Victor’s mouth softened—not quite into a smile, but something close enough. “Clean slate. Now, let’s get you to your super-creepy giant guinea pigs.”
That, of course, sent Oliver into his rant about how capybaraweren’tguinea pigs, and he caught Victor smiling at him fondly as he followed the signs on the wooden posts that led them to the capybara spa. Oliver had purchased the tickets online before Victor got the chance to do it, and he had them clutched in his slightly sweaty hand as he held the door open to the little security area.
The attendant gave Victor a sort of side-eye—the kind that said she wasn’t quite sure what to do with the damn wheelchair, but Victor ignored her as he waved for Oliver to step up to the window.
“Reservation for one fifteen.”
Oliver had done this before. He splurged on it every so often when he really just needed to watch the cute, prehistoric-sized rodents eating fruit and taking a bath in their little makeshift spa tub the zoo had put together with donations and public support. It was absurdly expensive, and he usually felt intense buyer’s remorse, even if it calmed him down during depressive spirals where he considered just quitting school and leaning into this job until his balls were saggy and his crow’s feet stretched to his temples and no one wanted him anymore.
He glanced over at Victor and wondered if he’d age even remotely as gracefully. The sun played with the light flecks of grey in his hair, and Oliver fought the urge to run his fingers through it as he half listened to the instructions.
“Oliver,” Victor said, a playful warning in his tone. “This nice lady is telling you how not to get your hand chomped on.”
Oliver rolled his eyes. “Plumcake and Stardust would never. We’re best friends.”
The attendant just gave him a flat look before securing their bands on their wrists, and then Oliver led the way through the small door. The wheelchair struggled to get through, but after a good, solid push, Victor was free, and Oliver led the way to the spa entrance.
“You really come here all the time?” Victor mused. He looked through the chain-link fence, off in the distance, down a well-worn dirt path where the two capybaras were soaking.
Oliver scoffed. “Dude. No. This is a total splurge for when I’m feeling my worst.”
Victor rolled to a stop, then looked up at him. “Is that what today’s about?”
Licking his lips, Oliver shrugged, his arms flopping at his sides. “I don’t know. I don’t—this feels like shit, okay?” His voice rose with a tight feeling of hysteria, but he tamped it down as quickly as he could. He didn’t want to make a scene, but now that Victor was asking to open the dam, he wasn’t sure he’d be able to hold back. “I hate this. I hate…this has been the best week of my life, and it’s so…I’m just…” He was flailing.
He didn’t know how to tell Victor that it didn’t feel like his time and body were bought. That he was going to take the money because it was life-changing but that he’d give it all back in a heartbeat if it meant things could be different.
But he couldn’t. He knew Victor wanted him enough to try and make something work, and it would end in disaster because Oliver wasn’t ready. He was shit-scared and uncertain about his future, and Victor was just too damn good to be true.
