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Vivie pulls herself together and heads out too.
I toss myself down on the sofa, burying my face in my knees and try to breathe through the pain. It doesn’t really help. My eyes well up with tears as my head shakes. I try to hold back the sob, but it escapes, anyway.
I cry like I haven’t cried in a long time.
It’s hard, because I would be happy for her if she was happy. I do think they’ll figure it out.
I hope they can, at least. But each time I’m confronted with the reality of my situation, it seems to chip away at my soul a little more.
It’s hard not to be bitter when I’m faced with the one thing I want more than anything, especially when others are so flippant about it. It’s not even about me. They just had a life-changing moment. I know I’m selfish, but my heart hurts with a longing I don’t know how to overcome.
I cry until my head throbs and my face burns. Then a little longer, just because it sucks knowing this is my existence for an eternity.
* * *
“You smell sad,” Hex says, startling me.
I guess I fell asleep on the couch in my office.
“Don’t be afraid.” His voice sounds different from what I’m used to.
My eyes pop open, but they burn. My hand flies up to rub at them, but a smooth tentacle brushes against my cheek.
“We haven’t been properly introduced.” He’s massive in his full kraken form. I’ve never seen him completely transformed, at least not up close. The first time I really caught sight of his beast was when he was busy fighting the other night, but there was so much going on, I didn’t take it all in.
His kraken is dark purple and black. He’s beautiful. His upper body is mostly humanoid, with the same muscular frame Hex possesses in human form, but he’s thicker and taller. Or possibly, his tentacles put him so far off the ground that he just seems that way.
My mouth opens, but I don’t know what to say. Holding my distaste for Hex against his monster feels unfair. He’s right—we haven’t met.
“Hex is furious with me.” His mouth is lined in razor-sharp, needle-like teeth, but he looks so sheepish, it’s hard to be intimidated. “We could sense your discomfort.”
“Through the bond?” I’m baffled, because I don’t get their thoughts and feelings. There was a time I wished I could, but without a mating bite, it’s just a deep yearning to be near them.
“No.” His head shakes. “In the air. I believe I could scent your tears.”
“Oh.” I glance away, because that’s not a great feeling. I wonder how many other inhabitants of The Den have sensed my breakdowns on occasion.
“I know you’d prefer the orc or even the nightmare,” he says, his facial tentacles twitching. “But they’re unavailable.”
“It’s okay.” Good God, this interaction is awkward.
“Is it because of what happened with your employees, or is it something else?”
I glance away from his aquamarine stare. I think all kraken have the same light-teal-colored eyes when in monster form.
“I would like to get to know you,” he says, sliding a tentacle around my lower back. “Hex and I are one in the same, but we’re also different. Our goals often align, and yet, we have conflicting ideas of how to make those things happen.”
His tentacle remains on my lower back, but he manages to slide one between my ass and the couch. He moves onto the other side of the sofa, and then I’m being lifted. I squeak as he places me between his side and the cushions.
“What are you doing?” I ask, running my hand over his smooth, extremely dry skin. I frown. From what I remember, kraken aren’t slimy, but they do feel much better hydrated and a bit cool to the touch.
“You’re not comfortable being close to them, but you will heal faster with skin-to-skin contact with your fated mates. I believe this is a reasonable compromise. I want to get to know you, and you wish to heal your magical backlash.” His voice is deep as it echoes around the small room. “Can we compromise?”
“I don’t know if it’s even possible to heal,” I mutter as he wraps a tentacle around my head, pulling me into his shoulder.
“No,” Hex growls.
My head pops up to stare as he partially transforms into Hex and back into full kraken form.
