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“Gladly.” I dip my lips to hers for a tease of a kiss before pushing myself out of bed. I yank on a pair of sweats and aim for the kitchen.
It’s dark, but my nostrils flare, picking up Silence’s scent. He’s sitting at the table, shirtless, with his head in his hands. I don’t have a whole lot of compassion for either of them, but I guess I’m not a true psychopath, since a shiver of unease slips through me at seeing him so miserable.
I rarely give a fuck about anyone enough to notice if they’re suffering, but the entire room smells sour with his misery.
I pull open the fridge and grab the cut-up fruit before moving to the drawer with the cheese.
“I hate you and that fucking nightmare,” Silence mutters as I close the fridge.
“Seems like you hate yourself for the choices you made.” I shrug, heading for the pantry.
Ali loves these disgusting whole wheat crackers that taste like dirt to me. I still grab them, because it doesn’t matter if I eat them. She does. I know she’ll light up when she spots them.
“Don’t act like you wouldn’t have done the same in our position,” he snaps, appearing in the doorway to the pantry. “Under the circumstances, you would have tried your best to keep her safe. Did we fuck up?” He nods. “And I’d do things differently if I had the chance, but I’ve also had the luxury of twenty years to stew on my lessons.”
I take a step back, studying his light-blue-green eyes. He’s pleading with me to believe him. The thing is, I already do, but it doesn’t erase the pain she experienced due to how they handled things. His dark tattoos flex as he stares at the ceiling.
“I don’t think she’ll ever forgive us, because some part of her will always wonder if we played a role in what happened. It’s like I can feel her yearning, but she’s more than happy to fill it with you and Malice.” He swipes a hand up, running it over his heart. “Gods, that hurts like hellevery single time.” He rubs absently at his chest.
I’m still focused on what he said. Is it possible she refuses to accept their version of the truth because she’s still so emotionally damaged by the loss of not only her family, but also the physical repercussions from healing her sister? There’s a chance.
“I don’t want to break up this little party, especially if the two of you were about to slow dance or punch each other in the kidneys...” Malice appears in the shadows of the kitchen. “But I have to pop back into Kash’s shell. Oh, and Ali is on the way down the stairs.”
Silence sighs, stepping back a few feet, and leaves without another word.
“They had no part in the attack on their wedding. At least, thus far, they’ve spoken nothing but the truth.” Malice shrugs. “I don’t have much of a conscience, and yet, I felt obligated to clear that up. Don’t worry, it’s not on you. I told the lovely fae before siphoning down here.” He winks and disappears.
“Can we eat in bed?” Ali asks, leaning around the wall into the kitchen.
“Of course,” I agree, getting myself together.
Once we’re settled back in my room, Ali sits cross-legged across from me. I set down the plate and start opening the containers. She immediately goes for the pre-sliced block cheese and dirt-like crackers.
“Do you feel like everything is weird lately?” she asks, blinking up at me.
“Things have been more hectic than the rest of the time I’ve known you,” I agree, running my fingers over her cheek. “Do you trust Malice?”
Her eyes squeeze shut as she gives a ragged nod. “We’re just getting to know each other in this realm, but I do.”
I give her my best encouraging smile. I’ve yearned for this openness between us for so long that I’m even willing to listen to her confess her interest in another monster. She may not have said the words, but I can sense her meaning clearly enough.
“So, you believe what he said about your husbands? Does that make you feel better or worse?” I stretch out across the bed, grabbing a pillow and shoving it behind my head.
“If that’s true, then...” She shakes her head and drops the sleeve of crackers onto the plate. “Then, I only have myself to blame.” Her words are barely a whisper. “I think it’s been easier to survive because I held on to the hate and rage.”
“Oh, little one,” I murmur. I grab the food, shoving it on the nightstand before pulling her to lie on my chest. “I understand the importance of survival. Sometimes, you do what you can to get through, until you have time to heal.”
She runs a finger over the deep gouge on my chest and, yes, that could be one meaning. But it’s not the only one.
“I think that’s what I did,” she admits.
“You’ve had your time of hurting.” I run my knuckles over her cheek, tilting her face to mine. “Now it’s time for healing. In all ways.”
“That might not be—”
I swat her ass, cutting her off before she can finish. “Enough.” I kiss her, pouring every inch of my love and devotion into the slow meeting of our mouths.
Ali pushes up on her hands to look at me as her chest heaves under my tee.
