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I'm trying to help, but apparently, I'm doing a terrible job because the moment the words have left my mouth, Evie bursts into tears all over again. "Stop being so nice to me." She gasps, shaking her head. "I don't deserve it."
I feel my mouth pop open and stare at her, at a complete loss to understand what's happening. "You're my sister. Of course, I'm going to be nice to you!"
Tears are streaming down her face, and she wipes them away, her bottom lip trembling. "I don't deserve it, Isobel. I really, really don't."
I've never seen her look like this, and it's frankly alarming. "Just tell me what's going on. I'm sure we can fix whatever it is."
She looks over at me, her bottom lip trembling. "You're the best of us," She gives me a sad little smile. "Me, Mom, and Dad, we don't know how to stop. We have no idea how to connect. It took Reuben four years to convince me to go out with him because I was so focused on school.Four years.I'm so sorry you were stuck with us for your family."
My throat grows tight, and I look away, staring at the gently lapping ocean. "I think it's pretty clear who the weak link in the family is. I didn't… I didn't get into Harvard. I found out the other day." It feels good to say it out loud. I haven't discussed it much, even with Judah, and telling Evie settles something inside me.I'm not going to be a Doctor.
We sit together silently, staring out at the ocean for a long time. When Evie finally breaks the silence, her voice is full of shame. "I've been in therapy for about six months now. Reuben convinced me to go. It's been a lot. I've had to face a lot of stuff that I'd been pushing down for a long time. One of the big things is how shitty a sister I've been to you."
I curl my arms around my knees, keeping my eyes on the ocean. "Just because we aren't close doesn't mean you were shitty."
"I saw how Mom and Dad were treating you. I saw it, and I didn't do anything.You're my little sister, and I never protected you." Her voice breaks, and I finally find the courage to look at her, my eyes burning. Evie's eyes are on the waves, and she looks so tired and sad. "I did all these exercises with my therapist, thought of ways I could support you and show Mom and Dad I'm on your side, then the minute we all get here, I become the same person I've always been. You're so much stronger than me." Her expression crumples, "I'm so sorry, Isobel."
I've wondered a lot about how Evie viewed me over the years, but it somehow never crossed my mind that she wanted to be my sister as badly as I wanted to be hers.
Wordlessly, I reach out to take her hand again. We sit that way for a long time. "I might not have been the best sister, either. Especially this week." I finally admit quietly, and Evie looks over at me with her lips pressed together to keep herself from smiling.
"Are you talking about Judah?"
I suck in a breath sharply, ripping my hand away from hers so I can grip the arm of the lounge chair and gape at her, "What-"
Evie laughs, wiping away the last of her tears. "You two aren't as subtle as you think you are. I wasn't sure, obviously, but there's a vibe."
"You're not pissed?"
"I hardly have the moral high ground, Isobel." She sighs heavily, shaking her head. "Besides, I get the appeal. From a purely aesthetic perspective."
I lean back in my chair, lost for words. Doeseveryoneknow? It's starting to feel like it. "I'm that obvious?"
"No." There's a smile in her voice. "You've been very stoic, but the way he looks at you is hard to miss. Reuben is pretty mortified, but he'll get over it. It's not just a hookup, right?"
"It's not just a hookup," I confirm, my whole heart full despite the awful confrontation with my mother. The further I ran, and the longer I sit here, the less her words hurt. I feel sorry for her because I don't think she's ever felt what I'm feeling right now or had someone look at her like Judah apparently looks at me.
In the space of a week, I've grown too big for her.
Evie nods slowly, her eyes on the horizon. "Do you want to be my maid of honor?"
I blink, positive I've misheard her. "What did you say?"
"Do you want to be my maid of honor?" She repeats, and she looks so vulnerable. "I understand if you don't want to or don't feel comfortable-"
"It's not that." I shake my head, still trying to process it. "I just didn't think you'd want me. What about your friends?"
Her hands twist together in her lap. "They're my bridesmaids. I wanted to ask you when we got here, but I've been so mixed up. I know I don't deserve a single thing from you, but-"
"I'd love to." My eyes blur with tears, and I wipe them away, smiling at my sister. "I don't have a dress that matches the wedding colors or-"
Evie smiles sheepishly. "I have one for you. I thought, you know, just in case. You don't have to wear it if you don't want to. I swear I don't care."
My phone, which I strapped to my arm before leaving on my run, buzzes.
Hot Guy from Airport Shuttle:Get your ass back here. I have a better workout for you.
I bite back a smile as I respond.
