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Closing my eyes, I inhale deeply. The room smells like him. His clothes are in the closet.
I’m all too aware that I can’t call anyone. I can’t see anyone. I’m a prisoner all over again.
I don’t know what to do or if I even should do anything. It’s easy in a way to simply not think and be a prisoner.
My body is tired and a little numb. It takes more effort than it should to go to the pristine bathroom, brush my teeth, and wash my face. I go through the drawers of all the clothes Declan bought me, although none feel comfortable and many are still confiscated in the duffle I took to the hotel. Instead, I settled on an undershirt from Declan’s drawer. I change and get under the covers.
I could call the cops, but I don’t want to. It doesn’t make much sense, anyway. The police aren't on my side.
I could choose someone else to tell, but I don’t want to do that either. My mother comes to mind and it all hurts all over again. I don’t want to drag her into this. I could never forgive myself.
I’m trapped. That’s what this feeling is. I’m trapped and worst of all, I’m doing this to myself. I’m lying here thinking of things I could do and refusing to do any of them. I’m just giving up. I can’t blame myself or feel any sense of shame either. There’s some part of me that wants to be in Declan’s bedroom no matter what.
At least I’m safe here. Safe from everything other than my own thoughts.
With my throat tight from that thought, I close my eyes so I don’t cry. I don’t want to do that, either. It would probably be best if I didn’t. Crying wears me out, and I need to be ready for whatever comes next.
The heat clicks on in the room and it’s the first sound I’ve heard since I’ve lain here.
What comes next? I don’t know. I don’t know anything anymore. Carter’s not going to let me leave. I don’t know how long the promise to keep me safe will last. I don’t know if he and his brothers mean it. The only thing I know is that I need Declan to tell me everything is going to be all right.
At that thought, the bedroom door opens. It startles me in the bed and I jerk upright with a racing heart, pulling the covers to my chest.
It’s Declan.
I’m instantly nervous. Instantly relieved. My hands are shaky and my mouth is dry. For a few seconds he stands at the door and stares at me. Wrinkled shirt and all, he’s still handsome and the sight of him makes my heart beat faster. His dark eyes search mine as my pulse quickens.
Say something.
This is the first time we’ve been in the same room since I thought he was going to kill me for betraying him. My chest hurts when I think about what I was prepared for and what I expected to happen.
Tears prick and I sit up straighter, moving slightly to give him room if he wants to sit.
What is he going to say to me? What is he going todo?Everything is different, but nothing has actually been fixed. Declan and his brothers know what I did. They know the truth, but that doesn’t mean I’m better off.
I’m torn between guilt, shame, and fear. I bounce between the emotions, and I keep landing on one thought in particular—how did this happen? How did I get to this place?Nothing turned out the way I thought it would.
The silence gets heavier as his eyes travel down over my body. He can’t see much of it with the blanket covering me. Letting out a breath, he breaks our gaze without a word.
Only then does he turn back to close the door.
Now we’re really alone.Heat runs through every inch of me. Both in fear and in want.
He faces me again and runs his fingers through his hair. Declan came in here ready for anything it appears. My heart beats heavy and hard imagining what must have been running through his mind. Now that he knows I’m alive, he looks exhausted. He shakes his head a little and strips off his shirt. He throws it into a hamper in the corner of the room.
“Declan?” I whisper his name.
“I have to ask you some questions.” There’s emotion beneath the surface of his voice. He’s not able to hide it very well.
I pull the blankets in tighter. “Okay.”
“What did they offer you?” The question hangs in the air.
“Who?”
“The cops.” Declan undoes his belt and takes his pants off. He pulls the belt through the loops and tosses it into the opposite corner. It lands on a chair. The pants go into the hamper, too. He glances at me to see if I have an answer.
I shake my head.
