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Then I go into the bathroom. No need to rush this part, either. I take a shower, letting the hot water run over my muscles. I don’t think I’m sore from my short stint in the interrogation room at the jail. I don’t think it was the sex, either. I think it’s stress, which is the worst kind of soreness. The hot spray washes away the filth and every negative thought.
I work at it anyway. I get dressed and let my hair dry while I scroll through my phone. Careful not to comment on a single thing. I only watch for entertainment although I hardly feel a thing. It’s more of a distraction and with it, I scroll and scroll, thankful that my mind is not left to my own thoughts. That’s how I end up spending most of the day. It’s easy enough to click from one thing to the next. All the while, I listen for Declan. I’m all too aware that I’m simply biding my time until he comes back and the time is ticking by slowly.
The phone can’t keep my attention forever. Nervousness builds in my stomach as I approach the bedroom door. I’m afraid I’ll turn the handle and it’ll be locked, though I know it won’t be. He wouldn’t do that to me.
I count to three in my head. On three, I turn the doorknob and throw the door open.
The hallway outside is empty. There’s no guard waiting for me when I get to the end of it and open the door to the foyer. None of Declan’s brothers are waiting there.
There’s nothing but emptiness.
I wish he’d given me some idea of how long this was going to take. Then again, if he had, I’d be counting the minutes and worrying more if he was late.
My stomach growls loudly. I’ve been ignoring my hunger most of the day. That was a mistake. Now I’m starvingandworriedandemotional over what Declan said this morning. I force my feet to move and take me to the kitchen.
I stride into the kitchen with my head held high, remembering that he said he loves me. If any of his family is there, I hope I look more confident than I feel. I know I don’t really belong here. Everything is too uncertain. It would only set me up for failure if I got used to being here, and thought of this as…
Well, anything. It’s not my home. This place belongs to Declan and his brothers. To hear Declan tell it, he wants me to belong to him. That sends my thoughts right back to the memory of him getting dressed this morning and the look in his eyes when he spoke to me.
“I want you to marry me.”That one statement is the only thing I’m holding onto right now.
The saddest part of it is that I don’t know if he really meant it. He looked like he did. He sounded like he did. But he’s kept things from me before and lied to me before.
Hell, for all I know, it could be another test. There must be more to it. I don’t know what to think of any of this, really, and I can’t turn off the worries. I wish I could be one of those people who just puts things out of their mind. I open the refrigerator and feel a cool breeze in my face. There are a few things inside, like leftover takeout and a pasta dish in Tupperware, but none of it looks appealing at the moment. Honestly, I don’t know how I could possibly eat, just that I have to because my stomach hurts.
Mostly I just feel empty inside. It’s not a good way to approach making something to eat. There’s not enough food in the world to fill that space, so it feels a little pointless to go through the trouble of cooking, or even microwaving, anything.
God. Something has to change, and soon, because this isn’t any way to live. I have come around to the idea that escaping life forever was probably not the best plan, but what am I supposed to live for now? Nobody can look forward to staying a prisoner. Not having enough information to make choices is enough to drive anybody out of their mind.
“Food,” I say to the fridge. “Focus on food.”
“You should come hang out with us.” The voice behind me startles me so much that I jump. I whip around, the handle on the refrigerator door gripped in my palm. Aria stands there in a baggy burgundy chenille sweater and skinny blue jeans. Her perfectly polished toes are black. Without an ounce of makeup on, she’s still stunning. Then there’s me in Declan’s pajama pants rolled up and a tee shirt I refuse to take off because it smells like him.
We couldn’t be more different.
I put a hand over my racing heart and take a deep breath.
Her cherry lips perk up as if it’s funny. “So do you want to?”
I don’t know what she’s talking about. “What do you mean?” Even though she’s casual and friendly even, Aria Cross scares the hell out of me. Just like Carter. She is his wife after all.
Aria shrugs. “When they leave, it can give me an anxious feeling sometimes.” She reaches across me and opens the fridge.
“They?” I turn her words over in my head. “They left together? Carter and Declan?”
“All of them,” Aria answers me. I blink, surprised, and Aria smiles gently at me. “Don’t worry, Braelynn. We’re safe here. There are guards and nothing to worry about, but I think you’d like it better if you stayed with us.”
She purses her lips, shutting the door and apparently coming to the same conclusion I did. “Did he tell you what they’re going to do?”
“No.”
She hesitates only a moment before asking, “Do you want to know?”
“I...” She has a genuine look on her face, like she might tell me if I said yes. “I don’t know. I seriously don’t.” I don’t know why I feel so disappointed in myself. I’ve never wanted to know. I never wanted to be in this life. All I wanted was him. And look where it’s gotten me.
Aria nods, understanding as I swallow down my thoughts. “Do you want to drink?”
“Yes. Yes, I do.” She passes by me grabbing a bag of fruit and nut mix, and I blurt out what I’m thinking before I can stop myself. “He lied to me.”
