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“How did you screw up, exactly?”
Ned turned. “If we’d had a decent exfil plan—”
“Stop. We had one—things just got messed up. And you, better than anyone, know that plans can get shot. It’s the way of life. You can’t blame yourself.”
“I gotta blame someone!” He cut himself off from shouting, but just barely. His voice shook, his entire body lit as he stared at Fraser. “Otherwise, I don’t know how to fix this. I just—”
“Can’t fix it, Ned.” Fraser met Ned’s eyes. “Not on your own.”
Ned’s jaw tightened. “If you mean call the team—”
“I mean, you need to call God. As in ‘Help, God, I’m in over my head.’”
Ned stared at him. “What do you think I’ve been doing for twenty-four hours! Sheesh, Fraze, I thought you were dead. And Shae is…who knows what is happening to her, and I’m about to destroy my entire career and maybe cause thousands of people to be irradiated—I don’t know, so don’t you think I’ve been praying?”
“For God to help you, or for you to help God?”
Ned’s eyes narrowed.
“How about praying for you to get out of the way? To yield, and let God be God.”
“I…”
“Don’t yield. I know this about you, Ned. You don’t give up. You don’t surrender. And yeah, that’s a good thing. Until it comes to God. See, He doesn’t need a partner, bro. He needs a soldier, a warrior, someone who sets himself behind God, not equal with Him. You two are not co-leaders. And you’re not supposed to be—that’s what He means by ‘Come to Me all who labor and are heavy laden. I will give you rest.’ You don’t have to carry the answers, or even the troubles.”
Ned took a breath. “I have no idea how to…I don’t know, put it all down, or whatever.”
The sun had fallen, nearly to darkness in the forest. The breath of snow hinted the air. A chill ran down Ned’s back.
“You just let go. You just…let it drop. And then you wait for God to show up.”
Ned stared at him. Then slowly shook his head. “I have thirty-six hours to spring the caesium, get it to the Russians, and get back to Shae. I’m sorry, bro, but I don’t have time to wait for God’s plan.”
Fraser lifted an eyebrow.
“What if this is His plan? What if…I don’t know…He’s trying to make me suffer?”
“Why would he do that?”
“I don’t know. Because…” Ned looked at him.
“Because you don’t need Him enough.”
Ned frowned at him. “I need God.”
“Not as much as you need yourself.”
Ned’s chest rose and fell. Then he picked up his pack. “I gotta go. You in, or is this your exit?”
Fraser nodded. “I’m in.”
“Great. Because I have a plan.” He set out for the rental parked a half mile away, on the road.
“Oh goody,” Fraser said.
It was dark by the time they arrived at the rental car.
“A BMW station wagon?”
