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“Must have?” I looked at her incredulously. “You just forgot?”
“Yes,” she snapped at me. “It’s been a very stressful few weeks, and the first time we had sex was even more stressful.”
“Jesus. I don’t care how stressful it was. How the fuck did you forget something so important?” I was practically yelling back. “Do you have any idea what you’ve done?”
“What I’ve done?” Anger tightened her features. “Last I checked, buddy, it takes two to tango, and we made this child together.”
“Yes, but I’ve ruined you. I did this to you,” I said despondently.
“Did you just call me ruined? Asshole.”
“This wasn’t a part of my plan.”
“It wasn’t a part of my plan either,” she snarled.
“No, not that. It’s just…Jesus.” I grabbed my head and held it, feeling overwhelmed. All of a sudden, I heard soft sobbing.
I whipped around to find tears rolling down her cheeks.
“This isn’t my fault,” she sobbed weakly. “This isn’t my fault.”
“Shh, it’s okay.” My heart cracked as I walked to her and gathered her in my arms. She fought against my hold for only a few seconds before she went limp and let me hold her.
And that was the moment I was finally able to accept what the gnawing feeling inside me was. The fear, the confusion, the panic. Everything culminated in this.
It waslove.
25
EMILY
I honestly didn’t know why I was even crying.
It was like, one minute, I was so furious that I was about to spit, and then the next, a wave of emotions just crashed into me, and the tears started pouring out. The sobs were racking through my body, and I was trying to prevent it from spilling out even before I felt myself being gathered against a chest.
“Shh, it’s okay.”
I fought against his hold. “Bastard,” I croaked out. He was the reason I was crying in the first place. Because of his accusations. Selfish, accusing bastard. As if I’d wanted to get pregnant. As if I’d done this whole thing just to trap him when that was the furthest thing from my mind.
He didn’t let go. He just kept murmuring things into my hair. I fought harder, but he was like an immovable wall as he pressed me closer to his chest. And despite my rage, there was something nice about having a nice solid wall to vent my emotions on. There were so many panicked thoughts running through my brain that his embrace was like an anchor keeping me from being washed away by all the chaos.
But the panic remained.
How on earth could I be pregnant?
It was difficult the conceptualize the entirety of this problem. The thought of pregnancy had never even crossed my mind, especially with everything else going on. I’d never considered that my birth control would fail just because I took it late one time.
And at the end of the day, this was my fault, all brought on by my own carelessness.
I was pregnant by a man who was holding me hostage.How insane.
Although I had to admit that our relationship had somewhat evolved way past that at this point.
It happened sometime during the endless dinners and breakfasts together, watching movies on the couch, the mind-blowing lovemaking, the flowers delivered to the doorstep, and everything else that had occurred in the short time. Seeing the fear on his face as he rushed me to the hospital awoke something in me and told me that, for him, too, our relationship had gone way past that of a captive and a captor.
Of course, by acting like a giant dickhead at the news of my pregnancy, he managed to tarnish the tentative trust that had formed between us. I sobbed for that, too, as I finally gave up fighting him and just let myself weep against his chest.
At some point, my tears subsided, leaving only a hollow feeling in my chest. My thoughts were still foggy, and I couldn’t focus with him standing so close to me, so I weakly pushed him away. This time, he let me have some distance, although his hand was still at my back.
