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And I had a feeling it would be the same way for me.
I was probably one of those unlucky men only capable of loving one woman all their life, and that was it. If anything happened to Emily, I wasn’t sure what I would do with myself, but I would probably become a hollow shell of a man, just like my father.
I needed to protect her.
I needed to adjust all my plans so she would never get hurt. I didn’t care if it meant giving up everything I’d ever dreamed of—wealth, freedom. I could be penniless and in jail for all I cared. Fuck, I would betray my entire family if I had to. As long as she was safe.
I would protect Emily with everything I had.
“And I’m fully aware that you don’t deserve me,” she continued as she shuffled to the edge of the bed. “But it doesn’t really seem to matter to me at this point. Because I already love you.”
“What are you doing?”
“Getting up,” she said as she got to her feet. I immediately went to her as she swayed slightly, but she held on to the bed frame for support and shot me a smile. “I’m fine, really. Staying in bed for hours always makes me feel sick, so I need to move around.”
“Be careful,” I cautioned as she took another step toward me. I moved forward to meet her, wrapping my arms around her and pulling her closer. I felt my heart constrict the second she was in my arms. I didn’t let her go, breathing her in for that precious moment and feeling her warm breath on my neck.
“I’m okay,” she said, and I shook my head.
“No, you’re not,” I rebutted.But you will be if it’s the last thing I do.
After the rest of the blood test results came back clean, I drove Emily home.
She fell asleep on the car ride home, which was perfect because it meant I could carry her out of the car and tuck her into bed without too much hassle.
Then, I started whipping up a quick dinner, and about thirty minutes in, I turned around just in time to see her descending the stairs.
“You’re supposed to be in bed,” I said.
“I was,” she said. “But I smelled something good going on in here.” She walked up to me, and I was happy to see that she seemed steady on her feet. “What are you making?” she asked.
“Bean soup and salad with garlic bread,” I answered as I turned off the stove and stirred the soup. “I just have to give it a few minutes to cool down.”
“Wow. So you really can cook.” She sounded so amazed, and I just shrugged.
“It’s not like it’s hard.”
Truthfully, I never minded cooking when I had the time for it. And today, I wanted her to eat something nutritious. I didn’t think we would order out much from this point on because I couldn’t trust those fucking restaurants and whatever they put in their food. She threw up after she smelled the takeout I brought in. That told me something.
From now on, I would make sure all her foods were packed with everything she would need and those that would not nauseate her.
And then I realized we hadn’t actually discussed anything about the baby.
“I’m just realizing you never actually responded to what I said,” she said at the same time as I had the realization. She glanced at me from the corner of her eyes while looking at the food, as if she was trying very hard to feign casualness.
“I told you I loved you,” I said.
“And I told you I loved you too,” she responded.
I watched her, still unable to believe it. “Why?” I pondered.
“I don’t know,” she murmured, and it was the most honest answer she could give me, even though it wasn’t an answer I particularly liked.
I just nodded, accepting it.
“So, what do we do now?” she asked, and I knew this was the conversation we needed to have.
The right thing to do would be to let her go. Despite everything, I was not the right man for her, and I knew it.
