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Chapter 1
Alexis
Alexis Holland begged the pregnancy test to be positive. Three failed attempts had left her desperate for good news and she needed a win. She paced back and forth in front of the kitchen counter where the pregnancy test lay on a fast-food paper napkin. Blake was perched on the barstool, nervously tapping her fingers on the counter.
Although they both knew how stressful having a baby would be, Alexis didn’t realize the toll it would take on them until they were already committed to the journey. They had read every article on intravaginal insemination versus in vitro fertilization to the point Alexis felt like she’d earned an honorary medical degree. There had been equally as much research put into the sperm donor. And since IVI was less invasive, they had decided to start with it.
All they needed now was a positive test.
The timer rang on Blake’s phone, signaling the test was ready. Alexis nearly slipped on the small rug in front of the sink as she grabbed the test off the counter.
Not pregnant.
“Shit,” Alexis angrily sighed as she tossed the test across the room. Blake was instantly at her side, pulling her into an embrace. “I hate this.”
“I know. I do, too.”
“Why can’t we just have a baby? Why does this have to be so hard?”
“It’ll be worth it in the end, Lex. We have to hold onto that.”
“I don’t get it,” she huffed and sat at the small kitchen table. Putting her elbows on the table, she put her head into her hands. Alexis didn’t want to face the growing question in her head, but it was inevitable. “Something has to be wrong with me, right?”
“Lex, no. Don’t say that.” Blake got down on her knee in front of Alexis, putting her hands on her thighs. “I love you and know we will have a baby.”
“I hope so.”
“We will,” Blake reiterated. “Maybe we could give IVF a try.”
Alexis looked down at her. “Really?”
Blake nodded. “I mean, yeah. Why not? We just tried IUI first because we thought it was our best shot. But maybe going another route will give us another outcome.” She shrugged. “It’s worth a shot, isn’t it?”
“Ugh,” she groaned, “I’ll have to have more shots.”
The regime of hormone shots Alexis had been on the last few months has been overwhelming. She was paranoid of missing a shot and ruining everything. But in the end, she’d taken every shot, vitamin, and supplement on a strict schedule and still came out on the other side without a baby.
“My offer still stands.”
Blake didn’t have to clarify; Alexis knew what she meant. When they started the process, they had gone back and forth on who should carry. They had decided on Alexis since Blake’s work would be less accommodating for a pregnancy. But now, that seemed like such a ridiculous reason. Were they really going to put their dream of a baby on hold for work? Alexis didn’t know.
“You have three auditions that would say otherwise.”
She could see the muscles in Blake’s face move as she clenched her jaw. Quietly, Blake stood and sat across the table from Alexis. They both seemed to be mulling over their options and Alexis wished she could have a glass of alcohol. She’d been sober since starting the hormone injections and didn’t want to fall off the train now.
“Okay,” Blake leaned onto the table slightly, “hear me out. We use my eggs, fertilize them in that little Petri dish thing, then we can implant them in you.”
“Oh, so we’re back to me being the problem?” She instantly regretted snapping at Blake. Alexis knew she was just trying to help, but her hormones and emotions were all over the place. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay, and you know that is not what I meant.”
“I know.”
“We’ve talked about it before. You could carrymybaby,” Blake’s smile spread across her face. “You have to admit that’d be kinda cool.”
“Yeah, and expensive.”
“Lex, what have I told you since day one of this journey?”
