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“That’s the last thing I want to do. But I also don’t want to dump my problems on you the day before your wedding.”
“I know you’re my designated big sister and all, but even big sisters need to talk sometimes.”
I smile at the memory of meeting Chloe last summer at the Top Dog fundraiser event. I was so thrilled Barrett was seriously dating someone that I accosted her and declared we be friends. When we discussed our families, her being the oldest of five, and me being an only child, it was only fitting that I designated myself to be her big sister. Recalling the moment and all the ones we’ve shared since then gives me the assurance to tell her.
“Griffin and I aren’t really married.”
“What?” She shakes her head. “I don’t understand.”
“I mean we are technically, legally, but it was a mistake.”
I tell her everything. At this point, there’s no reason to hide it. She’ll find out eventually, and it’s a relief to share it all with someone. Someone other than Griffin who is leaving in three days.
“So, it was kind of like fake dating, but you’re really married?”
“Yeah.”
She looks thoughtful. “I know what you heard, but is there any chance you were wrong?”
“I don’t know. Maybe. But at this point I’m too terrified to find out.”
“Because you love him. And if he doesn’t love you back, you’ll be crushed.”
I nod, because my throat is filled with emotion, making it impossible to speak.
“Love is scary. I know you were blindsided by the breakup with Alec. And your heart is still tender, afraid of being hurt again. But the fact that you were open to loving Griffin, that you did fall for him, means that you’re resilient. Maybe I’m just full of mushiness because I’m getting married tomorrow, but you need to talk to him. It doesn’t have to be today, or even tomorrow, but promise me you’ll tell him how you feel before he leaves.”
My stomach churns thinking about telling Griffin, the thought of him rejecting me.
“What would be worse? Putting your heart on the line with the fear of him not feeling the same, or not telling him and always wondering what could have been?”
“Of course, I’ll always wonder, but wouldn’t Griffin have told me if he felt differently? He agreed to the annulment. He didn’t argue against it at all.”
“Maybe he’s scared, too? You need to tell him what you want. That’s the only way you’ll know for sure.”
I sigh. I know Chloe’s right. Now I just need to work up the courage to talk to Griffin.
CHAPTER30
Griffin
I can’t pinpoint the exact moment that I fell for Emma, it’s been a collection of moments over the last three weeks. While I thought she might be developing feelings for me as well, two days ago she asked me about our annulment. The plans for it, how it would be handled. If I could be discreet when I start dating other people. What the fuck?
It wouldn’t have been such a shock if I hadn’t been in the middle of completely rearranging my life to stay here in New York to be with her.
I was ready to tell her how I feel, and then she brought up our annulment out of the blue. It’s what we agreed would happen after I returned home, but I thought things had changed between us.
That conversation pulled the rug out from under me, but my feelings haven’t changed. They’re the same as they were two days ago. But attending the events for Chloe and Barrett’s wedding, pretending like we’re happy and in love while I’m hopelessly in love with her, and she doesn’t feel the same, has been fucking torture.
I know it’s crazy to say after only three weeks, but IknowEmma. I can read her body language, see it in her eyes. Something is off. She brought up the annulment, but even before she said it, there was this look in her eyes. She was scared. Maybe she sensed my nerves and it freaked her out. I don’t know. Even though I was nervous to tell her how I felt, I never imagined our conversation would end the way it did. I left her in the kitchen to go for a walk, hoping moving my body would bring me some clarity. It didn’t.
I think back to the real estate documents I found on her desk on Thursday before we left the city. Just like her mom mentioned, Emma’s looking for a new place to live, making plans for the future. Apparently one that she doesn’t see me in.
I’m trying to give her space. Which in our current situation is not easy. We’re forced to play happy couple for her friends and family. I’ve embraced the role again, but now, nothing is fake. Not when I pulled out her chair at dinner, not when I brushed her hair off her neck and placed a kiss against that sensitive spot by her ear. It wasn’t just for show when I put my jacket over her shoulders and wrapped my arms around her at the winery because she was cold.
I’d keep not pretending with her every day until she was convinced that our marriage is real. But I don’t have that kind of time. On Monday, I need to fly back to Vegas for Sophie’s graduation. I also need to make a decision about my job plans. Do I take the job at Premier? Let Terrence know my plans have changed? I’ve got less than forty-eight hours to convince my wife that we belong together.
Mywife.There’s still panic at those words, but now the fear isn’t that I have one, it’s that I’m afraid of losing her. That for how suddenly she came into my life, she could be gone. Fuck. How did this happen? How did I marry a woman I barely knew and now I can’t imagine being anywhere that she isn’t?
