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After the reception, I’ll talk to her. I’ll reassure her we didn’t make a mistake that night. And that if given the chance, I will love her forever.
CHAPTER31
Emma
I pick at the cake on my plate. It’s delicious, but my stomach has felt unsettled all day. It’s been a whirlwind of emotion, watching Chloe and Barrett exchange vows, seeing how in love they are, knowing I feel the same way about Griffin, but terrified to tell him how I feel.
He’s beside me now, his arm draped casually across the back of my chair like any husband’s would be. It’s the third time in as many weeks that I’ve seen him in a suit, each time he’s been more devastatingly handsome than the last. It physically hurts to look at him. My heart can’t take the palpitations his stare causes, my stomach knotted like a pretzel, making it difficult to enjoy what is supposed to be a world class meal.
“Did you want a wedding like this?” Griffin breaks our silence, motioning to the large white tent we’re under. The lights and flowers, the elaborate centerpieces on the tables. I immediately think of the binders filled with magazine clippings, the dozens of Pinterest boards I created, each dedicated to a different aspect of my dream wedding. I imagined something similar, grand and sophisticated, no expense spared. But in all that planning, I had no idea who I would marry. It wasn’t about the guy. It was the wedding I was fixated on. The dress, the cake, the flowers I was meticulously picking out. Years before Alec. Even when Alec and I were together and I started thinking he could be ‘the one,’ nothing about my wedding plans changed. They weren’t tailored to us as a couple, they were what I liked, what I wanted.
“I did,” I answer honestly,but that wasbefore you.
When I look around Chloe and Barrett’s reception, I see that it’s perfect for them. From the bookish themed centerpieces with Chloe’s favorites books to the scotch sampling station Barrett requested. Their sweet dog, Baxter, in a bowtie, being led around the reception by Chloe’s dad. They created this day together.
Getting married to Griffin in Vegas wasn’t planned, but I wouldn’t trade our wedding for anything else because it was us. It wasreal.Me in my mom’s wedding dress, the pink bouquet Griffin picked out because he said the flowers matched my lips perfectly. Even the simple gold bands we exchanged. It had been ingrained in me to want a large diamond, that the ring my future husband would pick out, the cost of it would be equated with my value as a person. It’s not about the ring, it’s about the person who put it on my finger.
“How’s the cake?” His fingers trail down the back column of my neck. The familiar quiver his touch elicits races down my spine. Even after the annulment talk this week, he hasn’t stopped touching me. Light caresses, brushes of fingers, his lips against the shell of my ear when he leans in to tell me something.
“It’s good, I’m just not that hungry.” I set my fork down.
“You barely touched your dinner.”
“I’m nervous for my speech.” It’s an easy excuse. One that allows me to pretend that I’m not losing control of this situation.
“That’s understandable.” His palm flattens against the back of my neck, his thumb gently tracing the sensitive skin beneath my ear. It’s possessive and sweet at the same time. And it feels like the most natural thing in the world. I can’t handle the idea that it’s just for show. That we’re back to pretending.
I spring up out of my chair. “Excuse me. I need—” I’m about to say fresh air when it occurs to me that we’re already outside. “—a moment.”
Before he can respond, I drop my napkin on the table and rush toward the restrooms.
I have to keep it together, at least until after my speech. I take deep, calming breaths as I make my way across the lawn. Inside the restroom, I dab at my damp eyes and reapply my lipstick. A few minutes later I exit to the sound of Carl announcing the speeches. Announcing me. I hurry through the courtyard and back to the tent, weaving through the tables until I meet Carl on the dance floor to accept the microphone. For a moment, I’m breathless and my voice is shaky. So, I take a second to breathe and relax before proceeding.
“For those who don’t know me, I’m Emma, Barrett’s cousin. I’ve known him his entire life, minus those three years he has on me. We shared family vacations. I even rocked a pair of his old Osh Kosh overalls because I thought he was so cool. That means I knew him long before he met Chloe. I love you, Barrett, but most would agree with me that you’re not the easiest person to get along with. I believe myself qualified to say that when Chloe and Barrett started dating, when I saw the way he was completely smitten with her, it was obvious that he’d found the person that made him a better version of himself.
“And Chloe, I’ve loved every minute of getting to know you. I’m your designated big sister from another mister and I love you so much.” Chloe smiles back, tears forming in her eyes. “Together, you’ve found a love that challenges you, makes your heart sing, and makes you realize what is most important in this world. Your commitment to each other. It’s a kind of love everyone strives for. A love that I—” My gaze snags on Griffin. He’s now standing at the edge of the tent, his hands in his pockets, green eyes focused on my face. His lips slightly parted, like he’s holding a breath.
“—that I wish for everyone.” I shift my gaze away from Griffin so I can keep my emotions at bay. “Please raise your glasses and join me in congratulating the new Mr. and Mrs. St. Clair. To Chloe and Barrett.”
The crowd lifts their glasses, some start to clink the side to indicate the couple should kiss. Barrett slides a hand over Chloe’s jaw and pulls her close before capturing her mouth with his. My eyes scan the crowd, looking back over to where Griffin had been, but he’s gone.
Carl takes the microphone from me, and I move to the side, fighting back the tears that are weighing heavy against my lower lids.
“And now Chloe and Barrett would like to take a moment to address the crowd.”
Barrett and Chloe stand, and Barrett accepts the microphone from Carl.
“Thank you all for showing up to celebrate with us tonight. This day has been everything and more.” Barrett’s voice is heavy with emotion. “I want to thank my wife,” everyone cheers and hollers as he pulls Chloe into him and kisses her. “It feels amazing to say that.” He looks down at her with a huge grin on his face, “First, thank you for showing up today.” The crowd laughs. “But most of all thank you for loving me completely.”
Chloe reaches up to wrap her arms around his neck and pulls him down for a kiss. They’re a perfect image of love and contentment. Normally, I would swoon at how adorable they are, but my own tangled up feelings for Griffin are clawing at my heart, making it harder for me to put on a happy face and celebrate.
With one arm wrapped possessively around Chloe’s waist, Barrett continues.
“We’re going to keep the party going, but first, we wanted to recognize another couple here that recently got married. My cousin, Emma, and her husband, Griffin.” Barrett smiles warmly at me. “They eloped to Vegas a few weeks ago and while we respect their insistence on a private ceremony, we want to honor their union tonight with this next song.”
Chloe pulls the microphone in her direction. “Emma and Griffin, please come out to the dance floor.”
When I turn to search for Griffin, he’s right beside me.
