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“Just stop!” I double back so quickly; Griffin struggles to stop his momentum and he nearly runs me over. His hands reach for my arms, but I maneuver out of his hold. Turning again, I continue walking in the direction of the house. “Please, stop,” I say, more quietly this time. Because the anger is really fear. A realization that I’ve found the person who makes me feel everything and I’m terrified he doesn’t feel the same.
His time in New York is coming to an end. He’ll return to Vegas, fill out the annulment paperwork and move on with his life. It’s the devastation I felt when my crush, Joey Milton, moved away in fourth grade, except it’s a million times worse. These past three weeks have shown me what it would be like to be with Griffin. The man that he is and how it would feel to truly be his.
We walk in silence up the lush lawn and around the side of the estate.
In the shadows of the side yard, away from the reception tent and its twinkling lights, I pause.
“Talk to me, Emma. Please,” Griffin says in the dark.
The old me, the me that didn’t voice my needs in my relationship threatens to take over. To shut down and pretend like everything is fine. Keep things peaceful, everyone happy, except me. But Griffin has shown me I can be different. Telling someone my needs doesn’t make me too much, it makes me human. And with Griffin, there are too many feelings to push down.
We could go inside, but right now, I need the cool breeze in my hair, the dim light cast by the torches along the stone path to shadow my face—all the emotion there I can’t hide.
I turn around and find Griffin is right there. He doesn’t crowd me, but he’s close enough that his broad shoulders block out the moonlight, and I can see his full lips are pulled into a flat line. His freshly shaven jaw sharp and tense.
My bare back brushes against the stone retaining wall.
“I need you to stop being…” I wave my hand in his general direction, searching for the right words. The words to describe all the things that he is—sweet, kind, protective, thoughtful, romantic, funny, caring. That doesn’t even cover the half of it. Attentive, selfless, patient. Those words could describe anyone. It’s the special combination of them together with his quiet confidence and the way I feel when I’m in his arms that sets Griffin apart. Not to mention the fact that he’s gorgeous and I love licking my way down his abs. I sigh. “You.”
He’s quiet, considering for a moment. He rubs the back of his neck before his hand returns to his pocket.
“Emma, I don’t know what that means.”
“It means…” I inhale. My heart is working overtime. It knows we’re in trouble, on the verge of something dangerous. And right now, it’s trying to claw its way out. The opposite of a pep talk is happening beneath my rib cage.
Not this time, lady.
Hell, no. We’re not sticking around for this.
Haven’t we been through enough?
Griffin’s waiting patiently for me to find the words. He’s not pushing me to answer. He’s letting me take my time.
My only safety net is that I have a deep-seated feeling that Griffin is the kind of man who will let me down gently. He won’t laugh or use my feelings against me. He’ll tell me in the kindest way possible that it’s too soon to feel this way. That he doesn’t feel the same.
My eyes are set on Griffin’s chest. It’s a safe focal point. I study the buttons on his tuxedo shirt, hoping that one of them will open up a portal and pull me out of this terrifyingly vulnerable moment.
He takes a step closer, his body heat creating a cozy cocoon around me. He’s a calming presence even as my heart rate ratchets up a notch with his proximity.
“It means…”
Don’t do it.
If organs could brace for impact, my heart would be buckling a five-point harness right now. I take in a shuddering breath.
“It means, I love you, Griffin. I’ve fallen in love with you. It means I failed at not giving you my heart. And you’re leaving on Monday. But I don’t want you to. At least not forever. I want you to stay here. Move to New York to be with me. Please?” My eyes blink back tears. “Okay, that’s all.”
Griffin’s thumb and index finger grip my chin to lift my gaze to his. I look into the green eyes of the man that has become my everything.
“I love you, too, Emma.”
Like a reboot after a power failure, everything in my body comes back online. My chest lifts as my lungs expand and my heart that had nearly come to a halt starts beating again.
“You love me?” I ask, afraid my ears are playing tricks on me.
He nods. “For a while now.”
“What about what you said on the phone? When you were talking about moving on and not wanting to hurt me when you left?”
