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Our food arrives and I try to put Griffin’s dick out of my mind. The waiter places the salad in front of me. It’s what I ordered, what I thought I wanted, but now it looks depressing. Nowhere near the orgasmic salad Meg Ryan had inWhen Harry Met Sally.I look over at Griffin’s sandwich and I immediately know I made the biggest mistake not ordering the pastrami on rye. It looks so good.
It’s only a food order, but it registers a familiar pang. Me not listening to myself. Going against my gut because I think it’s what Ishoulddo, not what I actually want. It’s remnants of my relationship with Alec where I felt like I had to be a certain person in order to be with him. For him to love me. Turns out none of that mattered anyways.
I grab my fork and start eating, determined to do better next time. Delicately chewing around a piece of arugula, I watch Griffin cut through his meaty sandwich. The dressing oozes out and I nearly combust. If it’s not the man across from me making me sweat, it’s his sandwich.
After a minute of silent eating, Griffin reaches across the table and places half his sandwich on my plate.
“It’s delicious. You should try it.”
I don’t hesitate. I pick up the sandwich and take a bite, when the flavors hit my tongue, I’m unable to control my moan of satisfaction. So good. I will myself not to take another bite and hand the sandwich back to him.
He shakes his head. “It’s yours.”
My eyes narrow at him. “You’re giving me half your sandwich?”
“Yup, but you have to give me some of your salad.”
He makes it sound like that’s going to be a hardship for me.
“Done,” I say, reaching across to fork half of my lifeless salad onto his plate. I also snag a few of his fries. He chuckles and puts a large handful on my plate.
It’s a simple thing, sharing food. Yet, it feels intimate.
In the two years Alec and I dated, he never once offered me a bite of his food. Until now, it never occurred to me that it was odd he didn’t. His food was his, my food was mine.
My eyes move back to Griffin, studying him as he chews, then takes a sip of his beer.
He catches me staring. “You good?”
“Yeah.” I nod, then pick up my phone and scroll to the next section of the questionnaire.
As I listen to him talk about his childhood and family, I realize this thing with Griffin is far more dangerous than I anticipated. I’ve been concerned that my attraction to him was going to be my biggest problem. That his muscular torso glistening with sweat post workout, or the recently discovered fact that he wears the hell out of a tuxedo would be the greatest challenges to overcome. Now, I’m becoming aware that there is a far more distressing phenomenon to be concerned about. That Griffin is a man who is kind, protective, genuineandhas a body made for sin. And that getting to know him over the course of the next few weeks might only intensify my attraction to him.
I remind myself of Jess’s pep talk at the airport. While the goal is to convince everyone around us that we’re a real couple in love, I can’t let myself get swept into the mix.
Keep your heart out of it.
And Griffin’s insistence last night that we keep things platonic, friendly.
Evidently, those reminders aren’t enough to keep me from swooning around Griffin.
I’m ill-equipped to be around this man. I need to unearth Griffin’s flaws. Make a list and remind myself of them whenever I feel this undeniable attraction to him. I’ll get started on it right away.
I open a new note in my phone and begin to type.
But, since not wanting to be my fake husband with benefits isn’t necessarily a character flaw, all I have so far is that he’s a lawyer. It’s a short list, but I’m sure in time, I’ll be able to add more to it.
Later, when our dinner plates are empty, our waiter returns.
“Would you like to see the dessert menu?” he asks, looking between me and Griffin.
The D-word alone makes my eyes light with excitement, but I do my best to hold back.
I’m poised, ready to grab my phone and like every man who has come before him, add ‘dessert denier’ to the list.
Without hesitation, Griffin nods. “Definitely.”
Damn it. I’m so screwed.
