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Aside from completing my George RR Martin collection, I wanted to see if I could find any books on Diane Arbus. Today was the first day off I’ve had in six days, and I planned to spend that time wisely.
Playing my Xbox.
Juniper was coming over with snacks. I didn’t drink because it made me feel too out of control, and instead of the usual protesting I get from people; she said she didn’t drink either. Juniper was the coolest girl I’d ever met. Laid back and intelligent. Open-minded yet educated. I headed into the kitchen to make some coffee but stopped at the end of the hall at the sound of Alyssa’s voice.
I stood barefoot, with drawstring shorts and no shirt. Was that why I stopped walking? I should have just continued. Made my coffee and went on with my day. I waited, and I listened.
“… not happy. I must hold out a little longer, at least until that money comes in. I need to figure something else out.” I could see the back of her ponytail bobbing as she spoke, a white bathrobe wrapped around her.
“We will have to get together this week for brunch, but let’s do it here.” She hung up the phone and started walking towards me, standing half naked in the hallway. I sucked in a breath and took two long strides into the kitchen.
“Jeno, Jesus Christ, you scared me.” She clutched her chest and the phone in her other hand. Her makeup was done up dark and smokey, and I couldn’t help but stare at their shape.
“Making coffee, I’m… um… just making coffee.” Robotically, I walked to the coffeemaker and acted like I knew what I was doing. How was I supposed to get up each day looking like a pile of garbage, when she got up in the morning and looked like that?
“Let me. I’ll make you some.” She scooted in beside me, taking over the task I was pretending to do. She filled the coffeemaker with water and poured in the grounds, smiling as she did.
“So, UCLA in the fall? I went there, for business.” She said, switching on the coffeemaker.
“Yes, for photography. Art major, though. Minor in History. I’ll have to pick your brain about the school.” I was suddenly very aware of my bare chest. Although, her growing up here; it made sense. I tried not to shoot pellets of questions at her that had been brimming inside me since orientation.
“Ah, a fellow photographer! What is your favourite thing to photograph?” She reached for two matching mugs and set them on the counter. Her fingers were delicate and feminine.
“Landscape. Although I have an eye for flower photography. My mom always said so.” I looked awkwardly at the ground, but inside, the conversation excited me.
“Flower photography? Sensitive kind of guy, are you?” She giggled a little and turned to face me.
Conversations intimidated me enough as it is. Talking with someone so well versed in the art form I loved; scared me even more. It could have been the lack of food in my six four body, but I walked away from her nearness and sat at the breakfast bar.
I smiled. “Thanks for the coffee.”
She poured two mugs of the steaming brown liquid and set them between us.
“You’re smart. You will do well in college. It seems like you do things the right way, the thought-out way. It’s a good thing.” She took a small sip of her coffee and peered at me over the rim.
“Thanks, but from what I hear, nice guys usually finish last.” I investigated the black liquid in my mug.
“That’s not true.” She smiled, and it made me feel better. She made me feel better about everything.
I hadn’t spokento Leo since that night. And we were the friends that texted daily.
This was typical Judas. I fucked my way through high school, breaking hearts along the way. Some girls, some boys (but the boys never told). I had two girls go bat shit crazy and threaten to kill themselves. Those kinds are a dime a dozen these days. Now I’ve don’t the same thing to my best friend.
I led him to believe there was something between us when I was lonely. I had gone looking for comfort in my best friend and potentially fucked up our friendship. I would have to deal with it eventually, and I had a feeling it was going to be hard. So, I would do what I always did. I would put it off.
For now, I needed something fun to do, something to clear my head. I tugged on my faded jeans and searched for my fake ID at the bottom of my duffel. Not that I needed one. I never got carded, but occasionally a cute girl would ask for my ID to flirt, and I never passed up on a harmless flirt.
I swiped right on a couple of my dating apps, hoping someone could offer me a nightcap when I was ready to call it a night. I took a walk down Marina Ave and looked for the bar that boasted the largest drink menu in California. Sounded like the place to be. The bar was crowded, not enough room to stand without being shoulder to shoulder. I don’t know what I expected to happen on Friday night at nine on the Cali coast.
I had texted the only person I knew around here, and before I could turn to leave, Nate had squeezed in the door and waved me down. I pushed my way through the crowd, a small blonde eyeing me as I brushed past her.
“This blows man, let’s go to Marty’s a mile down!” Nate had to shout into my ear, the collective voice overpowering the room.
As we stepped outside of the bar, I felt myself relax. I liked to have fun, but I didn’t like crowds. I didn’t know much about Nate except that he was married. He was quiet, but always asked the guys at work what they were up to afterwards. Seemed like he was looking for an excuse to get out of the house.
Without Leo, I knew next to no one here. What was I supposed to do when I was avoiding him? I wanted to get wasted and wake up next to someone I didn’t know. The inside of Marty’s was the exact opposite of Exposure; it was dead. I ordered a Jack and Coke (no ID) and started flipping through my phone. Nate took a seat beside me and ordered the same as me. We sat in comfortable silence while I played on my phone.
“You ever have, a really shitty fucking day and you wanna go balls to the walls?” Nate’s voice stopped my scrolling and made me grin.
