Page 4 of Pretend With Me


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“I have a great life.”

A chorus of high-pitched squeals sounded from the corner of the room.

“Thank you.” I placed the green peppers on the cutting board and started chopping them into strips. “You’re right. I shouldn’t have let Maxine get to me.”

The squealing was becoming more and more enthusiastic with each chop of my knife, but I wasn’t delusional enough to think it was the result of anything other than excitement for dinner. And who was I to judge anyone for being excited about food?

I gathered the chopped vegetables into a mixing bowl and made my way to the corner of the room, where my five roommates were housed. I unlatched the roofs of both cages and the squealing reached a crescendo.

“Dinner is served, my little piglets.”

My apartment complex did not allow cats or dogs, which would have been a dealbreaker for me if I hadn’t already been apartment hunting for months without any success. Thankfully, they didn’t have a policy on small, caged animals like my guinea pigs. We never had any pets growing up, because Sissy had an allergy to anything with fur. Nothing will ever convince me that her allergy wasn’t actually to cute, adorable, living things instead of to dander, but I digress.

This adorable loft in an up-and-coming area of Savannah — with a shockingly affordable rent — was too good to pass up, especially after sleeping on an air mattress for long enough that every time I moved, it slowly wheezed out air from a hole too tiny to find. I filled out an application on the spot and moved in a couple of weeks later.

I watched the vegetarian carnage unfold for a few minutes before I grabbed the box of tacos I’d picked up on my way home. Turning on the TV, I ate dinner watching reruns ofSchitt’s Creeklike I did most evenings to unwind.

Predictability was only bad if you were unhappy with your life, I mused, and I was very happy with the small corner of the world I had carved out for myself, away from Beaumont County.

Yep. I was so, so happy.

2

The sound of a trumpet blaring through my dark, quiet bedroom had me rethinking my life choices. Specifically, and in this order:

1. Setting my alarm to something I couldn’t sleep through.

2. Waking up early to surprise Maxine with donuts.

3. Getting the hot sauce on my tacos. Holy heartburn, Batman.

I jammed my finger around my phone screen until the trumpet stopped heralding the return of morning. The urge to pull the covers over my head was strong, but I was determined to bring some spontaneity into Maxine’s life in the form of fresh-baked goodness. Starting the morning off with a good deed that also required me to get up early surely meant the universe would reward me, preferably in the form of extra sleep tomorrow.

Hurrying through my morning routine, I showered and threw on some eyeliner and mascara before filling the piglets’ food and water dishes.

“Everyone have a good day! Love you!” I called, then closed my door and headed toward the elevator. My phone rang from the deep depths of my tote bag as soon as the elevator doors slid shut, but I opted to ignore the ringing. This early in the morning, the call was probably someone trying to reach me about my car’s extended warranty.

The weather was still cool enough that walking to work did not require a shower and extra deodorant upon arrival. I loved living in Savannah, but I’d never quite grown out of my hatred of the heat and humidity that comes with Georgia summers. Living in Savannah meant I could visit my parents without actually being required to spend long periods of time with them. It was an easy drive in and out, so I’d abandoned my dream of living in a cooler climate.

I stopped at Holier Than Most to grab a dozen of their fresh-baked specialty donuts. Our office was just around the corner, so they would still be nice and warm by the time I walked there. Whether Maxine would be on time was a different matter. She was perpetually late, claiming it was part of her charm.

“Order for Sutton!”

I grabbed the bright pink box from the counter with a “thank you” and some extra pep in my step. Being spontaneous felt good! Although I’m sure the smell of fresh-baked dough didn’t hurt.

Less than five minutes later, I was breezing through the doors of our office, ready to kick today’s butt while spreading some glazed cheer. The office was so quiet this early in the morning that I could actually hear the sound of the few people already here typing away on their keyboards.

I jotted down a message on a sticky note, slapped it on the box of donuts, and placed them on Maxine’s desk. Feeling pretty pleased with myself, I sat down at my desk and dug through my bag for my phone.

“That’s weird,” I mumbled, seeing the notification that I had a missed call from Mama.

She rarely called me in the mornings and never during the workday. If she had something to tell me between the hours of nine to five, she would text or email me. Yes, email. Sometimes she had too much to say for a text message. I had an entire folder on my computer dedicated to her emails, because I couldn’t bring myself to delete a single one.

Worried, I hit call. The phone rang and rang, making my anxiety rise.

“Hello?” Mama’s tired voice finally answered.

“Hi, Mama, I’m sorry I missed your call,” I greeted her. “Is everything okay?”

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