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“You know what I mean.” He laughs. “You graduated as a wife and a mother. Lily isn’t even one yet, and you did all of that without our parents’ help. You’re pretty incredible, sis.”
It warms my heart to hear him say this. Part of our relationship rebuilding was realizing how much our father treated us differently and almost pitted us against each other. From Steve’s perspective, he received all the expectation and I received all the love. From my perspective, I received all the expectation and he got all the freedom. We’re slowly learning how to unpack our childhood.
Johnny comes back with Lily in tow, and she screams happily when she sees her uncle standing there. For her sake, I’m glad we’re mending our relationship, because she loves him almost as much as she loves her daddy. My parents don’t spend time with her, but Steve is over to the penthouse at least once a week, always spoiling her with gifts and treats.
Even now, he pulls out a cookie from his coat pocket and hands it to her. She takes it greedily, chewing on it with the few teeth she has coming in. Johnny rolls his eyes at her reaction and shakes Steve’s hand.
“It’s good to see you,” he says.
They’ve been working on their relationship too.
“We’re taking the graduate to a celebratory dinner,” he says proudly, draping his arm around my shoulder. “Would you like to join us?”
Steve smiles but shakes his head.
“I promised Mom I’d bring her the graduation program and show her all the pictures I took. She’s expecting me.”
I roll my eyes, irritated with my mother.
“She knows she could have come,” I tell him, and he just shrugs.
Steve doesn’t want to get between our mother and me. Our relationship is tense at best, and hostile at worst. She still hasn’t forgiven me for getting pregnant out of wedlock. Of course, she’s bitter that I walked out on the gorgeous wedding ceremony. She’ll never understand what a wonderful decision that actually was. She can’t even concede that my perfect daughter wouldn’t have existed if I’d gone through with that horrendous marriage.
“No,” she told me, months ago when we fought about it. “If you’d married Niko, you’d already have three boys. God is punishing you for running off with that man.”
I rolled my eyes then as I do now. She’d called me a disappointment of a daughter, and I’d cried for days. But Johnny finally helped me see that she’d been a disappointment of a mother, and I owed her nothing. I was living my life in a way that made me happy, and if she truly loved me, she would be happy for me.
She didn’t come to the small ceremony Johnny and I had after Lily was born. He knew I wouldn’t want another big wedding, so we had an intimate gathering at the penthouse. My dress was short and slinky, the exact opposite of the monstrosity my mother had picked out for me.
Despite myself, I did want her to be at my wedding. I wanted her to see that I was happy and loved. If she were a good mother, she would have supported me. She would have accepted Johnny and loved Lily because they were my family.
As it stood now, though, we weren’t talking. I’d secretly hoped she would show up to my graduation, but I knew it was a longshot. She disapproved of my education even more than she disapproved of my husband, and that wasn’t something I could ever fix.
As for my father, I at least knew he wouldn’t be caught dead at my graduation. He was still angry that I’d managed to get my education without his help. It had been the bargaining chip he’d used to control me for years, and once he lost that, he wanted nothing more to do with me.
I’m sure he lost out on some sort of lucrative deal when I didn’t marry Niko, but he never should have used me to broker that kind of deal. I was his daughter, not an asset. Neither of us was willing to move past that, so as it stood, our relationship was nonexistent.
I allowed him to meet my daughter when she was born, and I’d even invited him to her birthday party, but I was starting to feel like that was a mistake. I didn’t want him having access to my family anymore.
Johnny takes us to dinner, which is a short affair after Lily has a meltdown in her highchair. She’s officially reached her social limit and needs to get home and go down for the night. We take our food to go and climb into the limo to return to the penthouse.
I have to admit, strapping a baby into a car seat in a limousine is still an adjustment, but Johnny always points out that neither of us wants to drive in the city. At least we have someone to drive us around and relieve us of the burden of dealing with Manhattan traffic.
Lily cries all the way to the penthouse, despite our best efforts to calm her. That’s parenthood. She is the most perfect child most of the time, but when she’s upset, she’s basically possessed by a demon. When we finally get her ready for bed and put her down for the night, my nerves are shot.
I’m so grateful I’m finished with school because I’m emotionally and mentally exhausted. Johnny pulls me to our bedroom, where he sits me on the bed and gives me a shoulder massage.
“It’s been a long day,” he murmurs against my neck. “I wouldn’t blame you if you want to turn in early.”
I nod and lean back against him. He stops rubbing my shoulders and wraps his arms around me, holding me tight. These are my favorite moments in our relationship. These are the simple times when we just get to be us.
“I’ve been thinking about my parents a lot,” I say tiredly.
“Uh-oh,” he chuckles into my hair.
“No, I think you’ll like this,” I tell him. “I was thinking about how little they’ve supported me over the last two years, and how bad they are as parents and grandparents. I don’t want Lily growing up around that negativity. And I don’t want our family exposed to the dangers they pose.”
I feel him nod, and he pulls me against his chest until we’re both lying on the bed.
