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And here’s this man who thinks he’s some knight in shining armor. I think I may hate him, too. Perhaps I should be grateful to Ivan Sidorov for getting me out of this marriage, but I don’t like the methods he’s taken to make it happen. I don’t like that he’s decided of his own volition that I’m a prize to be won.
A stubborn streak inside of me wants to dig my heels in and refuse to go with him. What could he do to me? But my parents are treating me with such disdain, I know I’m not welcome with them. Of course, now that I know the truth about who my father is, I wouldn’t want to go back with him. Not to mention, he’s willingly letting me be dragged off by a stranger. Does he even care about me?
Ivan grabs my hand and pulls me through the lobby of the church, past the curious glances and gossiping wedding guests. People will be talking about this for years at community events. Remember when the Mikhailov girl ran away from her wedding with her father’s nemesis?
Of course, it’s just dawning on me now what these community events are. They’re all part of this, members of an elaborate Russian mafia. Every person I’ve ever met, every picture I’ve ever drilled into my head. What is this life?
I just thought our family was affluent. I thought my father was so protective because we came from money. For the first time in my life. I realize everything I’ve ever known is a lie. I’m part of a large, dangerous group of people. I wonder who Niko really is, what power his family must have if my father decided he was the man I should marry.
I feel both numb and strangely wide awake. I somehow have to process my entire life with new eyes. I wonder how long I would have walked around in blissful ignorance if it weren’t for Ivan. Not that I’m grateful to him. This whole situation is a mess. He shouldn’t have dragged me into this pissing match with my father. It’s completely unfair to me.
As we walk down the long steps of the church, my mother calls out my name. I turn back to her, hopeful. Maybe she’ll say something to make all of this okay. Maybe she’ll assure me this is all a huge understanding and I’m not the last person in the world to realize my father is a dangerous criminal.
Instead, she come to me, holding my leather bag, the shoes I’d long forgotten, and my bridal robe. She pushes them into the arm that isn’t held by Ivan’s.
“Get out of here before you cause any more shame to this family,” she says harshly. “As long as I live, I will never forgive you for this.”
She turns back to the church, passing my father, who of course has to have the last word.
“Katrina,” he calls. “Say goodbye to school. Our deal is off.”
That, at least, I’d expected. The deal was that I would marry Niko in exchange for a four-year education. No marriage, no school. There will be time to mourn that later, but now. I have to focus on the task at hand. Ivan pulls me toward a limousine, and I’m just now realizing a large man is behind us, holding back the onlookers.
Who is this man? A bodyguard? One of Ivan’s cronies? I don’t know this man, and now I’m seeing him with different eyes. He must be as dangerous as my father, if not more so. I’ve never seen Papa negotiate with anyone and lose. Ivan Sidorov has serious power and sway if Papa was willing to give me up so easily.
I slide inside the limousine, overwhelmed and furious. My life feels like it’s at an end. Yet, I can’t help but remember the way this man touched me, the way he tasted. As the shock slowly starts to wear off, it’s replaced by lust and morbid curiosity.
He tries to make conversation with me, but I shut him down, leaving him as much in the dark as I’ve been for my entire life. He doesn’t get to have any insight into my mind. He can sit on his side of the limo and squirm, driving himself crazy wondering what I’m thinking.
He’s imploded my entire life, for better or for worse. Isn’t that ironic? He was right, I didn’t want to marry Niko. All I saw in front of me was a life of misery and submissiveness. That’s not who I am and it isn’t who I want to be.
What does Ivan expect of me, though? What’s the price I have to pay for him rescuing me from a life I didn’t want? Maybe this was all a ploy to get me in his bed, but I can think of a million better ways he could have done that. For one, he could have just asked.
“That was quite the scene.” He chuckles, and I could hit him.
Instead, I give him the silent treatment. I don’t owe him any explanation because he sure as hell didn’t give me one.
“What did Dimitri mean about school?” he asks curiously, and he sounds so genuine that I almost want to tell him.
It wouldn’t do any good, though. I doubt a man like Ivan cares whether or not I get an education. It’s probably the bottom of his priorities. Now the only question is what becomes of me. He asked me to run away with him, but I didn’t agree. I’m basically his captive now, with no other options.
I assume we’ll go back to his home, but then what? The future looms in front of me like a terrifying blank space. An hour ago, I knew what the future held. It was miserable, but at least it was comprehensive.
I was going to marry Niko and go live with him in a brownstone in Brooklyn. My parents bought it for us as a wedding gift. He’s been living there for months already, enjoying what now essentially feels like a dowry. I wonder darkly if the house was payment for him marrying me. Though, it’s possible he was as much of a pawn in this game as I was.
It’s hard to feel sorry for Niko, though. I’ve known him my whole life, and I learned at a young age what kind of person he is. My childhood crush on him turned to heartbreak when I realized he loved to manipulate women and gaslight them. I chose to ignore this when he was going to be my husband. I told myself I was too strong to be treated that way.
It wouldn’t have mattered, though. I would have been a miserable wife, bound to a man who repulsed me. But I knew what the future held.
I’m sure his mother and my mother had already started talking about how many children we would have had. Even though I was in school, I would have been expected to pop out a son almost immediately. That was the way of things.
And then I would become exactly like my mother. I’d get a degree, but it would sit on a shelf somewhere in the house collecting dust. If I had a daughter, I’d probably spend my life teaching her that ambition is pointless, and dreams are just that. It would have been a miserable experience.
Was this better, though? The pulsing in my chest told me it was different. There was a chance my life wouldn’t turn out the way I’d been dreading. I had to be strong now. Whatever came next, I had to keep up my spirits and be ready for anything.
I curse the way my body reacts to this idea. I’m in the back of a limousine in a humongous wedding dress with a man who isn’t my husband. He’s basically a stranger, and my body is desperate to screw his brains out.
That isn’t fair. The thought of him should repulse me as much as Niko did. I should be so angry with him that the idea of him touching me makes me want to scream. It does, but not out of anger. My skin is hot to the touch, desperate to be set free from this prison of fabric. Despite the way my thoughts are swirling, my body needs him to finish what he started.
