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I tugged on his hand so we could resume walking. “I do. I just don’t think it’s a smart idea.”
“Why not?” He fell into stride beside me.
I kept my focus on the dimly lit path ahead. “We’re not a real couple. This is just pretend.”
“So what? It’s something we both want. Why can’t you just enjoy yourself?” He didn’t sound angry, just perplexed.
I tried to explain it to him. “I only have sex with men I think love me. Guys that I could have a future with.”
“And where are all these men now?” he asked sardonically.
I winced. He’d hit the nail on the head. “You heard my mom. I have a terrible track record when it comes to picking men.”
“Maybe you’re just doing it wrong. You don’t need a marriage proposal to have sex. Or even be in love. I have sex with women that I’m attracted to or who interest me. It doesn’t have to be a huge thing. You can have a fucking amazing time together. Then, when you each go your separate ways, it’s not a huge fucking deal. There are no feelings involved, so there’s never any heartbreak.”
“That sounds sad, actually.” Even though he couldn’t see my face in the dark, my lips pressed together into thin lines of contempt. “Is that what you do when you’re traveling with a rock band? Fuck all the rejects the rock stars didn’t want and call it fun?”
Instead of being offended, he laughed. “That’s not how I would describe it, but essentially. Listen, I’m attracted to you. Bloody attracted. And I have fun being with you even when we’re just hanging out. I know more about you than 99% of all the girls I’ve fucked.”
“Should I be honored or something?” I scoffed. “That’s pretty pathetic.”
He threw up his hands. “I don’t understand you. I know you’re attracted to me. And you want to have sex with me. Why don’t you just let yourself enjoy it? What’s the bloody big deal?”
I didn’t want to get hurt.
Somehow I already knew that Scotty had the power to hurt me, but I didn’t answer. This night was already going downhill. It had started with heady anticipation, and now all of that was crashing down around me.
We got back to the yurt, and Scotty busied himself filling up the wood-burning stove. I had my fears, and I believed they were justified, but I couldn’t bear for this night to end without having sex with Scotty.
So, I made a decision right then and there. I was going to put my fears aside and just let myself experience what Scotty was offering me — ‘no strings’ sex.
We were two consenting adults with nothing but my fears in the way, and I was done overthinking it.
I hung up my jacket and kicked off my boots. Before I could talk myself out of it, I walked up behind Scotty and wrapped my arms around his waist. “Let’s just do this,” I whispered in his ear, my breath tickling his neck.
He spun around, a look of surprise etched across his handsome features. “Are you sure?”
I nodded, my heart racing as I stepped into his embrace.
“You have no idea how much I’ve been wanting this,” he said, his hands snaking around my waist and pulling me close to him.
Our lips met, a gentle brush of skin that generated an invisible spark of energy igniting between us. His kiss was tender and full of longing, his tongue tracing paths of fire on my own as if committing my taste to memory. I felt myself melting into him as his arms pulled me closer. His muscular arms enveloped me in a cocoon of warmth and security, heat radiating off his body and filling my own with a sense that we belonged together.
He broke away from our kiss and made a primitive growling noise in the back of his throat. Without warning, he scooped me up in his arms and carried me to the bed. He tossed me down on the thick blankets and then crawled on top of me like a predator trapping its prey.
He reached behind my neck and slowly pulled down the zipper on the back of my dress. Reverently, he peeled the material off my shoulders and let it slide down my body, trailing his fingers behind. His lips found every inch of skin he uncovered, sending me into a whirlwind of desire until every inch of me was aflame with urgent need.
Desperate to see him, I began fumbling with the buttons on his shirt. He hauled himself up and then quickly tore off his shirt as if he resented the interruption that separated us for a few seconds. When his shirt was gone, he made quick work of removing my bra.
My hands slid across the smooth skin of his toned chest, feeling the contours of his muscles and brushing over his nipple, but then buried in his thick hair when his lips found my breast. As his teeth grazed my hard, tender nipple with a gentle bite, I gasped in pleasure. His fingers lightly tugged on my other nipple, sending shockwaves of arousal through me. My fingers scraped along his scalp to urge him on. When he sucked the peak of my breast into his mouth, I panted as licks of desire radiated from the sensitive spot between my legs. His mouth on my body had me melting into pure bliss.
Scotty moved downward, his lips trailing down my stomach, making me crazy with arousal. His tongue darted out to lightly trace a path of desire across my skin and his hands continued to explore my body, massaging the ache that had built in me since the day I first saw him.
His mouth slid lower until it reached my panties. It didn’t break contact with my skin while he slowly worked the panties down my legs. My body trembled as I laid exposed before him. His breath was heavy and ragged with desire, his passion evident in the burning intensity of his gaze. He moved closer, wrapped a hand around my thigh, and parted my legs wide. His eyes smoldered hungrily as he took in the sight of me.
He ran his fingers over my trembling skin and groaned, “You’re so beautiful, I can’t wait to taste you.”
My breath caught as he lowered his head between my thighs and inhaled. “Fuck, you smell as good as you look.”
