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My brows furrow as I still find myself at a complete loss. “Skip to the fucking point. I feel like shit and I really don’t have time for this.”
Ryker steps closer, bracing his hands on his knees as he bends down a little so we’re face-to-face. “You’re lucky feeling like shit is all you’re dealing with this morning.” His tone is a smidge softer now, but the irritation is still very much present.
Sighing, I turn my attention to Gray and Emmett, hoping they’ll get to the point instead of talking in circles like Ryker. Emmett steps forward until his knees are pressing against the foot of the bed.
“Ryker found you passed out on the garage floor last night with remnants of coke and empty bottles of beer surrounding you.”
Fuck.
Did I not bring myself home last night? Who the fuck stripped me down to a tee and my boxers and put me to bed?
Shit. Shit. Shit.
Dropping my face into my hands, I feel a mixture of embarrassment and annoyance, with a slight topping of shame. But out of all of the feelings swirling inside of me, annoyance is what I’m most familiar with, so I instinctively start to cling to it.
I clear my throat, fighting past the pain radiating through me as I shrug, offering them a bored glance in response. “Well, as you can see, I’m perfectly fine now. Thanks for your concern, but it’s no longer needed.”
“Fuck you, Axel,” Ryker bites and starts to pace beside my bed.
“That’s enough, Ryker. I know you’re worked up, but you’re not helping right now,” Gray murmurs.
“Is this a joke?” Ryker swings his arms out to the side in agitation as Gray moves toward him.
“You know what time of year it is,” Emmett murmurs, avoiding eye contact with me as he speaks, but I can still fucking hear him.
“It’sneverbeen this bad before.” The pain and worry shining through Ryker’s words now has me tensing even more. I can’t deal with their feelings and emotions on top of my own, even if they are for me.
“Can you guys just get the fuck out?” I don’t look at them as I grab the pain meds off the nightstand and down them with the bottle of water placed beside it. If I was a better man, I would thank them for leaving them here for me… Shit, I’d thank them for being here with me, period. But I’m not a better man, and I’m not about to start trying now.
“No. You can’t carry on like this.” Ryker looks at me like he’s at a complete loss, but I’m already floating out to sea without a raft to save me and guide me back to dry land.
Standing from the bed, I step into my jeans that have been folded on top of my dresser, before slipping my feet into a fresh pair of socks and my boots. “Not without something to eat, I can’t. You’re fucking draining me,” I grumble once I’m ready, pulling my cut on and reaching for the pack of cigarettes in the pocket.
“Axel…”
I hear the plea in my name as Gray calls out to me, but I’m really not in the fucking head space to handle any of them right now, today, or even this fucking year.
I slam my bedroom door shut harshly behind me, stepping out into the hallway at the exact same time the door across from me swings open, revealing the little whore Gray brought home from the Reapers.
With a towel draped over her arm and a small caddy filled with bathroom supplies, it’s clear where she’s heading, but the way she looks at me with instant concern in her eyes pisses me off. I offer her a deathly glare that has made grown-ass men piss themselves before, but her stance doesn’t falter. Not wanting to give her a chance to open her damn mouth, I turn for the kitchen and leave her behind, making a mental note to reach out to Shift again, our tech expert, and see if he has found anything on her yet.
The second I step foot into the kitchen, my bad mood dissipates of its own accord as I find Gray’s mom, Maggie, hovering over a pan of frying bacon. She glances over her shoulder, eyes finding mine instantly as a soft smile crosses her face.
“Everything okay, baby cakes?” she asks in that sweet motherly voice like she always does, and I grunt in response. The smile wavers on her face as she runs her eyes over me, and I shrug.
“Not today, it ain’t.”
“Uh-huh, isn’t that the same response you give me every time I see you?” She quirks a brow at me before nodding to the coffee machine, and my feet are moving at her silent command before it even fully registers in my head.
I turn the machine on and grab two mugs before I glance at her again. “That’s because every day I wake up and make the wrong decisions, Maggie. Now I’m just living with them and failing to see any kind of fucking light at the end of the tunnel.”
I don’t know what it is about this woman that makes my mouth move and my filter stop working, but she has a way of effortlessly pulling out your deepest and darkest truths. Maybe it’s because I looked up to her with awe when we were kids, blown away by how she treated Gray and loved him so fiercely, or maybe it’s because she loved the rest of us just as hard.
“Why does today feel extra gloomy then, hun?” She waves her hand in my direction, like she’s caressing my aura and trying to make it all go away as she’s done many times before, and I force a tight smile to my face.
“Because it’s my own doing as always, but this time, I haven’t just pissed myself off,” I admit.
“If someone is pissed at you, Axel, it’s because they care.” Her words hit me hard, the truth harsh and sharp as she says what I already know deep down.
