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“No, no,” she interrupts, waving her hand at me. “If you don’t want to make an appearance, then you don’t have to. I just came to check on you. You can do whatever you want.”
I don’t know whether I’m more overwhelmed by the fact that I don’t have to do exactly as I’m told and follow the expectations of me any longer, or that she came here because she cared.
I clear my throat. “When you say I can do whatever I like, does that include going outside to tinker with my bike?”
Her eyebrows pinch for a moment as she assesses me. “You have a bike?”
“Yeah.”
“Since when?”
Her tone isn’t accusatory, but I’ve definitely surprised her. Although the memory of earlier today and the bullshit unraveling between Axel and Gray makes me want to stay as far away from the subject as possible.
“It’s a long story,” I finally reply, brushing a hand down my face, and I instantly hate myself for sounding like an asshole when it’s not her fault. Standing from the bed, I tuck my hands into the sleeves of my hoodie as I smile softly at her. “I’m sorry. I’m not trying to be a bitch. Today has just been a day.”
“And the remnants of your panic attack last night are still wearing you down.”
My eyes widen as her words sink in. “Exactly,” I mumble, my gut clenching as I take a half-shuffled step toward her. “How do you know that?”
I already know the answer, I can feel it with every fiber of my being, but I need to hear it from her to know it's true.
Her face is a mixture of a frown and a smile. It’s not forced, barely meeting the corners of her eyes, but it’s not filled with joy and happiness.
“It’s the only reason I don’t put up more of a fight when Emmett insists Duffer follows me everywhere.”
Anger boils in my veins. “Do you need me to gut a bitch for you? Man or woman, we will make it happen.”
Her chuckle is light and airy, thankfully void of any pain or heartache. “No, not today at least.”
I want to know what ‘at least’ means. I want to know what or who hurt her and take it all away, but I know the reality of being in her position. The fear that trembles through your body at the worry that someone will hound you with questions for answers you don’t want them to have.
Taking a deep breath, I relax my shoulders and try to squash down the fury inside of me. I can save it for when it’s truly needed, and that’s not right now, not with her. “If you ever want to talk about it, I’m here. If you never want to talk about it, but you need me to show up at three in the morning with a shovel and no questions asked, count me in.”
Before I can prepare myself, she launches herself at me, arms around my neck as she squeezes me tight. I tentatively hug her back.
When she releases me and takes a step back, I shake my head in disbelief. “Don’t you think it’s crazy as fuck that I only just got here, yet I trust you and want to protect you without question?”
“The craziest,” she replies with a grin and steps back into the hallway. “Now, go and relax with your bike while I go and find the man of the hour.” She wiggles her eyebrows as my own knit in confusion.
“The returning brother?” I clarify, and she blushes slightly as she nods.
“Do I need to tell Emmett about this?” I ask, completely joking, and she laughs along with me as she shakes her finger at me.
“No, you definitely don’t.”
* * *
I find my Harley in the garage, sitting perfectly but a little dirty, which only makes me smile because it gives me something to do.
Searching for rags and cleaning solutions in the garage, I get to work bringing my baby back to life. It feels strange knowing Axel rode it here. Since it became my possession, no one but me has straddled that seat, but I’m surprisingly not as mad about it as I thought I would be.
I get lost in the rhythm and movements of sweeping my hand back and forth, forgoing the usual podcast I would have playing in the background when I was able to do this previously at the Reapers’, instead opting for the sound of the late evening to keep me company.
I can hear birds, crickets, and the movement of a squirrel or two, along with the sound of cars in the distance. It’s grounding. It’s exactly what I needed. And it’s at the top of my list to say thank you to Emily in some way shape or form.
Dipping my hand into the water bucket, I find the sponge I need and delicately trace it over the wheels, making sure to get the cleaning solution off, leaving them to sparkle.
“I heard I would find you out here.”
