AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Yes.”
One word that carries more meaning in this context than many others, giving it a much heavier weight, but his eyebrows don’t rise and his eyes don’t flash with fear.
“How does that make you feel?” His tongue runs over his bottom lip, not with heat or desire, but with nerves. I take a moment, looking him over, from his hands tucked under his cheek, to the long, slender neck he exposes.
Fuck. Men with such deep questions shouldn’t be so hot. I can’t be distracted. Not while working. That’s not how this goes.
“You want the truth?” I ask, quirking a brow at him despite how tired I am. The effort to move a single muscle nearly gets the better of me, but when he nods I know sleep will have to wait a little longer. “It makes me feel numb, but I know I’ve never killed anyone that didn’t deserve it.”
The truth flows from my lips, hanging between us as we remain locked in place.
“How can you be sure?” he whispers, his fingers twitching like he wants to reach out to me. I almost scream for him to do it, my body eager for the touch despite myself.
“Because I’ve seen the evil of this world. I’ve helped save people who mean a lot to me from a future I couldn’t bear to think about,” I murmur, feeling raw and on display as I remember Bethany and the future her family had planned for her. It still twists my stomach to this day, my heart always thankful that Ryan was there to be exactly what she needed in a time when there was no one else.
Clearing his throat, Nate’s eyes droop a little. Apparently, talking about death and the blood on my hands is a good way to help him fall asleep. Who knew? “And how does that make you feel? Are you happy?”
My breath lodges in my throat. Those are two questions that are deeper than anyone else has tried to go before. Ryan has skirted around the topic of happiness with me on so many occasions it makes me want to barf. The only true glimpse of happiness I’ve seen is Ryan and Bethany, and I don’t see how anyone could replicate that. It would be impossible.
I consider my answer, or whether I should give one at all, but again, the words fall from my lips. “Honestly, I don’t know. You?” I’m excellent at deflecting, and I feel like this conversation has been about me for long enough.
“I don’t know either,” he mutters, taking the bait as his eyes fall closed and a soft smile tugs at his lips. “But I believe everything happens for a reason. Even being here, despite the circumstances, and I can’t say that I’mnothappy about it.”
The urge to reach out for him is unreal, my jaw slack as I gape at him in surprise. My pulse throbs in my ears, but I slam it all down, closing my eyes and freezing in place.
Forcing myself to relax and fall asleep, I finally drift off, the presence of the man beside me making me all too aware of my surroundings, but the main thought that plays on my mind as I fall asleep remains the same.
I can’t say that I’m not happy about it either.
FIVE
Nate
A yawn breakspast my lips, confirming that, as tired as I may be, I’m awake and falling back to sleep is unlikely. I’m acutely aware of the sleeping body beside me, the light rise and fall of his chest with each breath.
Benji.
He’s a fucking enigma, that’s for sure.
Prying my eyes open, I stare at his facial features. Has the stubble on his face grown more since I last looked at him? I can’t help but find myself being drawn to him over and over again.
I have no idea what time it is. All I know is I had a nightmare earlier, one that was a repeat of the actual incident that took place the last time I saw Wade. The scream ripped from my throat despite myself, but to my surprise, the big mysterious bodyguard ran to my rescue. Not only did he come and check on me, which I’m sure is his job, but he stayed.
The one fact that continues to bounce around in my head like a kid filled with candy and going crazy on a trampoline is his sexuality. The mere thought of it once again rouses my cock from its slumber.
Embarrassment creeps up my neck, the color sure to be shifting to a bright red, and I take that as my cue to get up. As much as I want to bask in the books before me, I also want to let him sleep, which means turning to my other coping mechanism downstairs.
He doesn’t stir as I quietly rise from the bed. I could see in his eyes how tired he was earlier when I was asking him questions. I don’t really know where they were coming from, but it felt like I wouldn’t be able to breathe without knowing the answers. As soon as I relented, he drifted off to sleep, and I was right there with him. But I guess the sleep I got earlier was enough to have me wide awake now, despite my protesting body.
I tiptoe out of the room, careful to be as quiet as possible as I make my way downstairs, the grandeur of the home washing over me once more. It’s the moment my eyes latch onto the kitchen that my stomach grumbles and curiosity gets the better of me.
What food is there in here? Or are we going to be living off the cupcakes I made back atCake Creations.
Swiping my hair back off my face, I shuffle across the kitchen in my jeans and crumpled t-shirt, heading straight for the fridge. Swinging the door open, I’m met with a pleasant surprise and find that it is fully stocked with vegetables, fruits, a variety of meats, drinks, and snacks as well.
I could definitely come here more often.
The reality ofwhyI’m here plagues my thoughts though.
