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My chest had tightened until I could barely breathe. “At the city walls—”
He snarled. “I can still be the man you laughed with. The man you allowed to touch you, totasteyou. Just as I can also be the man who will kill viciously when provoked. And nothing provokes me more than the sight of you in danger.”
This conversation was overdue, and yet I wanted to block out his words. Because thinking of what we’d almost had…ithurt.
“It wasn’t just that you killed the king’s guards the way you did, Lorian. It wasn’t your pointed ears or the lightning. It wasn’t the fact that you were suddenly bigger or sparking with power. I had no power of my own left. I was completely drained. Madinia barely got me to the city walls. Getting through the city was… It was…” My throat locked, and I took a deep breath. “Parts of the slums were burning. People were fighting in the streets. The streets we chose were blocked over and over again. And the whole time, I knew something was wrong. I knew we should have seen the king at that ball, and the fact that he wasn’t there meant that everyone I loved could be dead. When I arrived, I thought I was about to die. I was willing to if it meant you’d save the hybrids. But then I heard them call you that name.”
“The Bloodthirsty Prince.”
My eyes stung, the painful ache spreading through my head, down my tight throat, and into my heart. “I didn’t think you were a monster because of the way you slaughtered those guards, Lorian. I thought you were a monster because I’d heard all about your reputation. So, tell me the truth. Did you destroy Crawyth? Are you the one who killed my parents?”
My lungs burned, but I couldn’t seem to loosen the breath I was holding. Couldn’t take my eyes off him. Couldn’t let go of the hope that dampened the burning fires of my rage. The fires I’d stoked every minute of every day since we’d left the city gates.
Lorian leaned even closer. His scent danced toward me, and I was instantly assaulted by the memory of the way I’d basked in that scent, rolling around in his sheets. Silence stretched between us, and a chill broke out along my skin at the feral gleam in his eyes.
“Tell me one thing first, wildcat,” he said. “Tell me you’ll believe the words I speak. Tell me you won’t instantly assume I’m lying.”
I couldn’t. My lungs screamed, and the air slowly shuddered out of me.
“You spent weeks lying to me, Lorian.”
“And if I tell you I didn’t do it?”
I opened my mouth, but any words I could’ve said got stuck in my throat. Lorian’s expression drained of all life.
“As expected,” he said.
I glanced away. Everyone in my life had lied to me. Vuena and Papa had lied for years. Even Tibris had pretended he didn’t know what I was, when he’d really been working with the rebels. The king of Eprotha’s lies had killed thousands. Asinia and I had lied to each other, pretending we were human. Even Demos and Telean had kept the fact that I was the hybrid heir from me until the last possible moment.
When I’d traveled with Lorian, he’d been so open about the world. About the way things worked. He’d never softened anything he had to say—even to spare my feelings. By the time I’d let him into my bed, I’d begun to trust him. And he’d been lying to me for weeks.
His lies had hurt the most.
So how could I trust him now when he said he hadn’t attacked Crawyth?
Everyone lied.Everyone.
Lorian got to his feet. The life was slowly leaving his expression, Masking the pain the movement must have caused.
I hadn’t realized just how withdrawn he’d been on that ship. How he’d reverted to the coldhearted mercenary I’d first met. The one who’d left me for dead without a second thought. But I could see him doing it now.
Even during our power struggles, when we’d had to cooperate, we’d always worked well together. And trusting each other to survive the iron guards had cracked open that hard shell of indifference he’d once again built around himself. Now that shell was back.
I wasn’t exactly sure why I cared.
He turned, heading toward the river. “Go on,” I snarled, frustration coursing through me. “Walk away. Why would I expect any different?”
His shoulders stiffened, and I fisted my hands as he slowly turned his head. “You keep pushing, and I’m going to lose control.” He turned fully to face me, and a cruel smirk curved his lips. “But perhaps that’s what you want. You want me to take you in anger, wildcat? To make you moan my name while you writhe beneath me…all while you loathe me for every second of pleasure? I’ll do it. But you won’t get it by taunting me. You want hate sex? You’ll have tobeg.”
I stared at him, cheeks blazing. His eyes cooled, and he turned, strolling away as if he didn’t have a care in the world.
“I hope you drown in that river,” I called out. His low, taunting laugh trickled out from the forest. The sound seemed to caress my skin. Skin that was suddenly much, much too sensitive.
* * *
“What news do you have of Jamic?” I demanded as Pelysian stepped through the hidden door and into my room. I’d sent my remaining ladies away, ordering the maids to give me privacy.
They thought I was mourning my lost jewels.
