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When I’d finished my meal, I slipped out of the dining hall and headed to the nearest room. I knocked on the door and found the space empty of fae and personal belongings, confirming that it was open.
Quickly, I stripped the blankets off the bed, followed by the pillows. Tying everything in a bundle was a bit of a struggle, and it ended up nearly as big as me, but I managed.
After I grabbed some toiletries too, I made a quick stop in Kierden’s room for the rest of my things, including the three big shirts of his I’d claimed. I packed all of it into a bag, then climbed up onto Bright’s back, struggling to hold everything while maintaining my balance.
Her amusement swelled alongside mine as she carried me out of the castle. We got a few curious looks, but no one followed us down to the fields, thankfully.
My heart was beating fast and my lips were stretched in a massive grin when I slammed the door behind us.
I was already imagining Kierden’s fury when he realized I’d moved out of his room without his permission… and veil, it made my grin even wider.
My excitement faded into peaceful happiness as I set up my new home. The blankets went on the bed, the toiletries in the bathroom, and the clothing in the closet.
When I was done, my happiness had faded too, and I found myself frowning at the home I’d claimed.
It was beautiful, and comfortable. Far more of a home than my tower had ever been. And the door worked properly—I’d made sure it couldn’t be locked from the outside.
But something about it felt sort of… lonely.
I supposed that was to be expected, after sharing a bed with Kierden for nearly a month. I just wasn’t used to being on my own anymore.
Deciding that I wasn’t going to let that affect me, I threw myself into reading the couple’s notes about the fields. When I finished reading, I walked the length of them on my own two feet, forcing myself to chat with Bright about anything and everything I could think of as we went. There were miles and miles of fields, and even though my wrist hurt, I kept moving.
If Kierden had changed his mind about wanting me, that was his problem. He had bigger things to deal with than a mate bond he hadn’t wanted, and I did too.
Or at least, I tried to convince myself of that.
When the sun faded from the sky and the jungle grew quiet around me, I sat down on the edge of the bed and finally forced myself to admit the truth:
I loved the plants, but I waslonely.
I kept remembering the way I’d felt sitting in that bed with Kierden, talking about fictional worlds and characters as if they were real ones, and I missed that.
I missed it a lot.
Not just the conversation, though. The feeling that I wasn’t alone. That someone liked me and cared about me, on top of it.
After spending nine years almost entirely alone, I’d finally spent a month living with someone else. Even when I hadn’t liked Kierden, I had liked that he was next to me.
And… I wasn’t willing to be alone any longer.
I wasn’t willing to be his secret mate, and I wasn’t willing to wait for him to reject me, either. When our bond disappeared, my magic would take control of me again without anyone’s ice to slow it. If that happened, I’d only have a few solid hours of consciousness a day.
Which meant I was going to have to find someone else to bond with.
My stomach clenched at the thought, but there really wasn’t an alternative. Even if there was, I didn’t think I would settle for it.
I wanted a male to lay in bed with me and talk about books. To bathe with me when I felt sick and tell me I looked beautiful when I felt terrible. I wanted a husband; I wanted amate. And when Kierden and his pretty fae woman stopped the murderers, I decided I was going to have exactly that.
Surely, I could talksomeoneinto not despising farming. Some grumpy, battle-hardened warrior who needed a soft human to snuggle and take care of. Or some brilliant fae male who wanted a woman who’d discuss vague topics she didn’t really understand with a great deal of passion and stubbornness…
I refused to admit to myself that Kierden functioned as both of those men in my mind.
So, I put on my pink dress and slipped back out of my house.
Bright carried me up to the nearest tavern. She seemed amused by my determination to meet a nice man.“If you’re really that desperate for a male, you can have one of my suitors,”she drawled, as I climbed off her back just outside. It was near the marketplace, so my hand was aching something fierce, but I ignored the pain yet again.
Laughing, I said,“Sure, I’ll take Death off your hands right now.”
