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“Think I can get a signed copy if I stop by around that time?”
My head tilted. “Sure, but it won’t be for another few months.”
“I plan to continue visiting Nicole, so I might be in town around that time. Would that be okay with you?”
“Yes, of course. You can come by any time.”
He beamed. “Okay, great.”
I took another sip. “Are you excited about the wedding?”
“I’m excited for Nicole’s sake. Weddings aren’t my thing, but I enjoy watching my sister get what she wants out of life. If there’s anyone who deserves it, it’s her.”
“That’s sweet.”
“It’s the truth,” he said. “What about you? Are you excited?”
“Yes, but also no. I don’t like being the center of attention, so walking down the aisle will be embarrassing.”
He chuckled. “Yeah, I’m not excited about that part either.” He winked. “At least we’ll have each other.”
My cheeks heated. “That’s true.” Chris sprung to my mind again as I thought about the fact that he would be walking down the aisle with Anna. I didn’t know if he liked her the same way she liked him, but it shouldn’t have mattered.
He shouldn’t matter to me as much as he did.
“What are you thinking about?” Lucas asked.
I blinked, realizing I’d been staring off into space. He was watching me intently with a blank but polite expression.
I shook my head. “Nothing. Everything. The wedding.”
He hummed. “What’s the nothing and everything part?”
I closed my eyes briefly as I collected my thoughts. “Can I be honest?” I asked, looking up at him for approval. He nodded. “The nothing part is Chris.”
His eyes widened a fraction, and then he tried to hide his smile. “Oh, is it?”
I matched his amusement. “What does that mean?”
He shrugged. “Means I knew something was going on between you two.”
“Yet you still asked me out?”
“You’re a beautiful woman. I wanted to get to know you.” He leaned forward. “I thought you were an excellent conversationalist, and I was interested to see where things went. But that guy hates me for even talking to you. I thought maybe it was one-sided. At least, I was hoping for that.”
It all seemed too complicated to explain, especially when Lucas wasn’t hiding his interest in me. “There’s nothing happening between us. I mean, there is, but . . . it’s nothing. It’s complicated.”
“I can see that. And I think maybe you wish there was?”
I shook my head. “Not exactly.”
He blew out a breath as if he were overwhelmed. “Okay, now I’m confused. If you don’t want something between you, why is it complicated?”
“That’s the difficult part,” I said. “Because what’s bothering me is everything else. Before I can even unpack my feelings about Chris, I have to acknowledge that he and Sean have been close friends my entire life. Chris has been there for important family events and the most tragic moments in my life. At one point, we were close. We talked daily, and we shared our feelings with one another. He was there for us when my dad bailed and we had to move in with my grandparents. He was there a few years later when Mom died. And he was there again when Gramma died shortly after that. We have a history that goes beyond stupid, passing feelings like lust or romance. Sometimes I forget that and get caught up in it, thinking I might be special or this time might be different. I get myself to believe these lies, and then when he pushes me away… I don’t know how I’m supposed to feel.”
Once I finished my speech, I quickly downed the rest of the wine in my glass. Lucas stared at me for a long moment, blinking slowly as if he were processing all the information I had laid out for him.
Hell of a first date, Sav.
