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“You have no idea how much I want that. But even more, I want this night to have been about you.”
He reached down to put on his shoes. I didn’t remember when he’d kicked them off. Or when I’d kicked out of mine.
I was touched that he was content to have given me pleasure without taking any for himself. But I still could hardly wait until it was my turn.
“I’ll text you later.” He tilted his head. “Probably after I’ve come two or three times while thinking about tonight.”
I snorted. “Don’t tell me that, you weirdo.”
He grinned. “The idea of me touching myself and thinking about you isn’t hot?”
My cheeks heated. “You know it is, but… I don’t know. I’m embarrassed.”
“Don’t be,” he said. He grabbed the back of my neck and kissed me again. “Because I’m going to be thinking of you doing the same thing.”
He wasn’t wrong. I’d be running over and over the evening in my mind later that night. And I may have been a virgin, but I knew how to take care of myself.
We took a few minutes to say goodbye, holding each other by the front door as we occasionally kissed between staring into each other’s eyes. It was how I’d wanted things to be with us before, but I thought it wasn’t possible.
I watched him from my front door as he went to his truck, got in, and drove away. My heart fluttered as I closed the door and leaned against it, playing everything through in my mind.
I decided to go to bed early, and he was right about how hot it was to imagine him stroking himself while thinking about me.
17
CHRIS
I tookmy time Saturday morning. I woke up feeling optimistic about the future—a feeling I hadn’t experienced in years. I’d felt motivated by goals I set for work or events I planned with friends, but this optimism for the future felt like it was for me.
And Sav was the cause.
Leaving her apartment the night before without making love to her, without even getting off after I’d been so turned on, had been a superhuman feat.
But I’d managed it. I wanted to make sure she knew I could give without taking. To know that I was more concerned for her pleasure and happiness than mine for a change.
I’d done exactly what I’d told her I would while thinking about her, hot and damp against my hand, rubbing against me, coming and moaning into my mouth. I’d jacked off twice, thinking about the little details.
I was amazed that she thought being a virgin would bother me.
God, I could barely wait to sink inside her. But it was important to me to take her on a proper date first, to do everything right.
I tried to think of a way to show her I cared about her and our future, but I wasn’t sure how. I wanted to buy her something, so I went out, roaming the aisles of the closest large department store. I’d driven forty-five minutes out of town, but I finally found something I knew would excite her.
Eager to give it to her, I texted to see where she was. She was at work, of course. The Sparks closed earlier on Saturdays and was closed on Sundays. She and Jackson usually traded working on Saturdays, but they’d both been working the last few weeks because they were so busy.
I asked if she was working alone, and she’d texted yes.
Sav:what are you planning? *thinking emoji*
I shook my head, chuckling at her response. I told her nothing and pocketed my phone before loading my truck with her gift.
As I drove, I grew nervous that she wouldn’t like what I got her. In my last serious relationship, I sometimes indulged in grand gestures, wanting to impress the woman into believing I was more than I was.
Katelyn had sometimes found it embarrassing if people knew about us or saw how much I cared about her. I’d started questioning my instincts, thinking I’d been wrong. I’d jumped through so many hoops trying to impress her, but it was never good enough.
As I sat at a red light, I wonder why I was thinking about her at all. She didn’t even live in Carswell anymore. She rarely crossed my mind, but suddenly, memories of all the red flags I’d never noticed until it was too late flooded my mind.
It had been nearly a decade since she’d shattered my heart into a thousand pieces. I hadn’t taken any women seriously since then. Promised myself I never would again.
