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I called Brent and told him I was running a few minutes late, but I was on my way. Then I slammed my hands onto the steering wheel a few times until my palms ached.
I wanted to go back, pack my shit, and leave. But knowing Todd as I did, that would have been the worst thing I could do. I knew I had to stay for him.
I took a deep breath and tried to focus on the work ahead of me at the brewery. Whatever was going to be said and done would have to wait until that night.
I only hoped that Todd didn’t say anything stupid to Lana to make her feel worse than she already did.
17
LANA
I pulledinto the Crystal Fountains parking lot and looked at my buzzing phone.
Todd. Again. A text immediately came through.
Please call me, Lana. Please let me explain.
I thought for the fiftieth time that maybe I should just block his number.
I’d broken up with him a few days after I took him soup, thinking he was sick, while he was out partying.
That had been over a month ago, and he still kept calling and leaving messages, texting me, apologizing. Begging me to take him back.
Even though I felt things for Dylan and wanted things I knew I shouldn’t, couldn’t have, it had been hard to call it quits with Todd.
It hurt even more than I’d expected to say the words, but I couldn’t be with him anymore.
Still, I thought I’d always have a special place in my heart for him and what might have been.
I hadn’t blocked him, because deep down I did still care. And there was always the chance I’d see him at the senior home anyway.
That was about to change. Maybe it was time.
I went in to see my grandpa. I’d been nervous about this visit since I made the decision, so I already felt like I was on the verge of tears. When I’d told him what I planned to do, he’d been so excited for me. Supportive as always.
But I felt like I was abandoning him. No matter how I looked at it, I thought that my grandpa probably didn’t have all that many years left. How could I leave him and live so far away?
I guess how upset I was showed all over my face. The minute I walked into his room, he said, “Aww, honey.”
I knelt next to his armchair and hugged him.
“It doesn’t feel right, Grandpa. I don’t want to leave you behind.” I was trying not to sob and doing a poor job of it. “I still think we can find a senior home in New York where you can live, so I’ll be close by and can come see you all the time.”
He stroked my hair. “Lana, children are supposed to grow up and leave their elders. Make a life for themselves. Do you know how bad I’d feel if I thought you were putting off your life just to stay behind for your grandfather? No,” he said, cupping my cheek. “I want you to go to New York, do a great job in that exciting new position you’ve been offered, and make us all proud.”
“But what if you need me? What if I miss you?” I asked, almost embarrassed at how childlike I sounded. But this was my grandpa. I was having a hard time imagining not being able to see him anytime I wanted.
“You know, there are wonderful new inventions to help with that. Maybe you’ve heard of them. Airplanes and telephones.” He chuckled and patted my hand.
“I guess I never have to wonder where I get my sarcasm from, huh?” I smiled through my tears. Then he pointed at his bed and pulled a phone out of the pocket of his sweater.
“Go over there. Let’s make sure I know what I’m doing with this fancy gadget.” He squinted at it and touched the screen.
I sat on the bed and held my phone, waiting for him to call me. It rang in a video call, which I answered. I smiled at how proud he looked. “You’ve got it.”
“Let me practice the regular call now.” A minute later, my phone was ringing with a call. Then he texted and replied to mine.
“You see, sweetie. You’re always just seconds away.”
