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I had blinked at my own thought; seeing them together like that, it was easy to picture Izzy as a little one, turning to his Daddy for protection and care. And was that so odd? At our core, wasn’t that what everyone truly wanted; to be cared for?
At any rate, I was glad we ran into Nikolai and Izzy, because I had a better idea of what to expect when it came to Andy. I was keeping an open mind, and was determined to be supportive of my brother.
I wasn’t responsible for him any longer; that duty had passed on to Tage. But I could still be a part of his life. Maybe we could finally connect how we never could before. I wanted to try, for Andrew’s sake, but also to make Hutch proud. He wanted me to make amends in my life, and I wanted to do it for him…and for me. He made me want to be better in every way.
He must have sensed I needed his comfort, because Hutch placed his hand on my back as the door opened. Tage stood smiling on the threshold. I wasn’t sure if he’d give me a warm welcome, given our history, but he appeared happy to see me for some reason.
“Thank you for coming,” Tage greeted, looking between Hutch and me.
Hutch replied, “Thank you for having us,” before my nervous lips could form a response.
“Please come in.”
It wasn’t until we stepped into the living room that I noticed that Tage had a shadow…a plump, Andrew-sized shadow hiding behind him. My heart dropped. My brother was hiding from me, probably worried about what I was going to say or do. I hadn’t given him a very good impression, or any reason to trust me. It was time to fix things.
I peeked around Tage, finding my brother wearing a pair of purple sweatpants, and a white tank top covered in purple butterflies. It was a bit jarring, but I took a breath before I said anything. I didn’t want to offend Andrew ever again.
I saw that he was holding a doll in his trembling hands, and so many memories came crashing over me; none of them were good, and all of them involved me chastising him for his play time. I couldn’t take back what I had done, but I could change my actions from here on out.
“Hi, Andy,” I greeted quietly, and his eyes sparkled when they met mine. I’d always called him Andrew, as an attempt to get him to ‘act his age’, but I knew he preferred the nickname, and it was time for me to use it. He released the doll with one hand to give me a shy wave. “Whatcha got there?”
He swallowed hard before slowly lifting the toy. “It’s a Barbie,” he replied in a shaky voice.
I wasn’t sure what to say; I didn’t have any experience with things like this. But I knew what not to say, so I just did the opposite of that. “She’s…nice.” A tiny smile tugged at his lips, and it made my heart beat faster. I searched my brain for another compliment to make him smile. “I like how her purple dress matches your pants.”
“Really? Thank you!” he exclaimed, stepping out from behind Tage. He beamed when he told me, “I dressed her myself. Want to see her house?”
“Um…sure.”
Andy grabbed my hand and pulled me down a hallway a few steps before stopping abruptly. “Oops.” He turned to Tage and asked, “Daddy, can I take Dalton into my play room?”
I can’t lie; it was a little strange to hear my grown brother refer to another man as Daddy. But when I saw Tage’s answering smile, and the obvious love for Andy in his expression, any awkwardness melted away.
“Of course, duckling. Hutch and I will come too.” I wondered if his offer was because he didn’t quite trust me alone with Andy, or just because he wanted to spend time with his boyfriend. I understood either reason.
“Yay! Thank you!”
I looked at Hutch, and found that he was wearing a bright grin as well. If I wasn’t mistaken - and I prayed I wasn’t - it held the same glimmer of affection that Tage had towards my brother.
But before I could study Hutch too long, Andy whipped me around and pulled me down the hall again, this time into a large room which was full to bursting with toys. There weren’t only dolls; the room held stuffed animals, blocks, and toy vehicles of all kinds. I wondered what our childhoods would have been like if we’d had access to things like this then.
It was obvious what he wanted to show me when Andy led me to the center of the room; there stood a large, three-story plastic pink house, complete with a water slide poking out the back.
