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I don’t look at her. I know what that comment means and I’m not in the mood to have this discussion. My visit to Nolan’s house is fresh in my mind, and I keep seeing him standing there in front of the fire place, shirtless, glorious, telling me to marry him, talking about making a family and having babies together.
And how it tempted me.
How it’s still tempting me, if I’m honest with myself.
I put a hand over my belly, only briefly, before letting it drop.
Having a husband right now would ease a lot of the burden that’s to come. Maybe Nolan isn’t my type, maybe I’m not into him like that, but at least he has money and resources.
He could take care of me.
Instead, I’m totally alone.
Nobody knows I’m pregnant.
Not even Jams, and I tell her everything. It’s been hard, really hard, to keep it to myself. I found out only a week ago after missing my period and going through the usual early pregnancy symptoms. It came as a surprise, but in retrospect, it really shouldn’t have, considering I used absolutely no protection with Nolan, and didn’t even bother asking him to at least be a gentleman and pull out.
“I can’t take his money, Jams.” I rub my face with both hands. I don’t know why marrying him seems better than letting him invest.
She turns her wine glass in circles. “It’s only money,” she says quietly, glancing at me. Her expression’s thoughtful instead of angry, which is a good sign. “You’re not normally this stubborn, you know that? When Ash doubled our salaries—”
“I accepted because I’m not stupid.”
“What’s different about this? Most businesses have investors and you’re not shy taking what you’re given.”
“Nolan Crowley isn’t a normal investor.” I slump forward, willing this night to be over. “Can we just not talk about this?”
“We’re almost broke before we even started. I called the contractors yesterday, told Roger to keep his guys home. I made something up about the sewer lines, but he knew it was bullshit. I think he can smell desperation.”
“That’s good,” I say, not looking at her. “I guess we can take more time, figure something out.”
“What’s there to figure out? If Nolan kicks us out of that building, we’re finished. We’ll be on the hook for everything, with no way to pay any of it back. We’ll be waitressing here forever.”
“Jams, it’s not just—” Suddenly, I need to make her understand. The whole thing, all the ugliness.
“I know you want to do this on your own,” she says, talking over me, getting animated now. “But please, Keely. This is important to me, too. When we started, we agreed on equal partners, right?”
“Right, but—”
“Then I want to exercise my equal partnership now by taking Nolan’s money.” She looks sad as she turns to me. “I get it, you find him odious. I do too. We’ll try our best to keep our distance. But what other choice do we have? Go to Ash? She’ll only tell Carson, and Carson will tell Nolan, and that’ll make it worse. No, I think we have to—”
“Jamila,” I say, cutting her off. “He wants to marry me.”
That makes her stop talking. Her eyes widen and she clutches her drink like it’s a shield. “Wait, what?”
I shake my head, letting out an exhausted breath. I probably shouldn’t have said anything, but I’m still upset about the offer. “I went to see him earlier. I got his address from Ash.”
“How’d you manage that?”
“I said it was a booty call.” I smile slightly at Jamila’s laugh. “I know, I’ll never live it down.”
“What did he say?” she asks, leaning closer. “What do you mean, he wants to marry you?”
“It’s part of the deal now.” I rub my eyes with one hand like if I can wake myself up, this nightmare will be over. But no, still sitting in Smoke, still pregnant, still afraid of my baby’s daddy. “He says investing isn’t enough. He gave me this whole creepy speech about finding purpose by having a wife and kids.”
“And he wants that wife to be you?” she asks, sounding like she doesn’t believe it. Not that I can blame her. This whole this is bizarre.
“If he hadn’t said it right to my face, I’d figure it was just some joke. But he wasn’t kidding, Jams. He was dead serious.”
