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“Typical,” I say, shaking my head. Feeling disgusted. “You don’t get what you want, so you make everything harder.”
“What is the matter with you?” Carson lingers, not leaving. “Ever since I got involved with Ash, it’s like you’re a different person.”
I let out a harsh laugh before I stand. “I’ma different person? We used to be close. We were best friends until you got married to her.”
“You know how I’ve felt,” he says, keeping his voice low. “Ash has always been everything to me.”
“Yes, I’m aware of your weird obsession with her, but that doesn’t mean you get to pretend like we’re not brothers anymore.”
He takes a few deep breaths. “That’s not how it is.”
“Tell me then. Go on, make me understand.”
“It’s the job.” He stares at me, and for the first time in a while, I can see bags under his eyes. He looks tired, worn down, stressed out, beaten back by the demands of running the family. I watch him carefully, trying to sense a trap. But not finding one.
“I understand it’s got to be hard.”
“There are a million little things all the time. Finn’s no fucking help, he’s got his family and his own problems. Mother’s a mess, but I can’t be mad about that, she’s mourning. Father left the organization a fucking wreck of red tape and bullshit. There are about a thousand layers and tangled threads, and I’m expected to figure it all out. The old man had a system, but he didn’t actually tell anyone how it fucking worked.” He comes back to the table and slumps down. “You want to know why we don’t see each other? It’s because I don’t see anyone anymore. I wake up, do family business, spend time with my wife, then sleep. I get shit on by my captains and lieutenants, I put out fires, I fight back against those that want to see my power diminished, and I kill myself to keep it all running. That’s my life now.”
I finish my drink, letting that settle in my head. “Must be hard,” I say finally, meaning it. I sit back down. I knew Carson was under a ton of stress, but I hadn’t realized how bad it’d gotten. “Dad really left things a mess?”
“Honestly, it’s even worse than what I’m saying.” He lets out a sharp laugh. “He pretended like everything was fine, but the organization’s a goddamn clusterfuck of conflicting factions. I’ve been spending all my time getting shit back together, just so it doesn’t collapse now that Dad’s not holding it together through sheer force of will.”
“You never said anything.”
“Can’t look weak. You know that.”
“We’re family, Carson. If you think I want your job, then you’re insane.”
He grins. “I’m definitely insane.”
“What about Liam? Where’s he been?”
“Traveling. Doing business all over.” Carson rubs his face. “He’s a pain in the ass too. Does whatever the fuck he wants, the bastard. Gets in a lot of trouble.”
“Sounds about right.”
“Liam’s the worst about it, too. Flaunts his disrespect. Doesn’t listen when I try to give him commands. Straight up ignores me. I’m going to find a way to get him back under control, but he’s the least of my worries right now. Then there’s Finn, he’s useless, too busy with his fucking wife and kids, but at least he tries. Liam’s just a shit.”
“He’ll get it together. Eventually. Maybe.” I shrug, get up, and refill my drink. I’m aware that this is the most I’ve spoken with my brother in a while, and I’m not sure how I feel about it. I don’t pity the guy—this is the job he stepped into. He knew what it would be when he took it. But after everything, he’s still my brother. “You know I didn’t marry Keely to piss you off, right?”
“I know.” His shoulders are slumped. “It felt that way though.”
“I married Keely because I wanted to. It had nothing to do with you or Ash.”
“Ash doesn’t even care.” He glances back at me. “Lucky for you. She says Keely can make her own mistakes. If she had taken it bad, we wouldn’t be sitting here.”
“Don’t be a prick. We’re getting along.”
“Really, I expected her to be upset, but she just sort of… accepted it. Like she knew it was coming.”
I sit down beside him, leaning back. “That’d make one of us.”
“You love her, don’t you?” Carson’s voice is intense. He’s staring at me like he’s trying to see through my skin.
I take a long sip, considering how much to tell him, and decide on full transparency. “Yeah. I do.”
“You think that’s going to be a problem?”
