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“I apologize for the deception,” Nolan says, staring only at me. “I had to do it.”
“You had to trick me into coming out here?”
“I don’t think you get to lecture me on lying.”
I grind my jaw. “There’s a difference. I kept something from you to protect my child. You’re just being selfish.”
“Okay, uh, I don’t think I need to be here.” Ash takes a step back.
“Don’t go,” I say sharply.
“Feel free to leave,” Nolan says, just as sharp.
Ash looks between us then sighs. “Well, shit. I’ll be up front, okay? You two can talk, but, Keely, if you need me, just yell. I’ll be right there.”
“Fine,” I say, not happy about it.
Nolan says nothing. It’s like I’m the only person in the whole world. His attention again, breaking up against me like waves onto sand.
Ash disappears, the door shutting behind her.
I say nothing. I cross my arms, waiting. If he wanted to trick me into coming here, then he can be the one to start our little talk. As far as I’m concerned, I have nothing to say to him—though seeing him in person again does crack some of my resolve.
“I wish I’d known from the start,” he says, sounding mournful.
“What would you have done differently?”
“I don’t know,” he admits. “Gone slower. Made sure you had the correct vitamins, doctor appointments, all of that.”
I grimace, shaking my head. “You can’t help yourself, can you?”
“You’re pregnant with my child.” There’s more emotion in those words than I’ve ever heard from him before. It makes my heart stutter.
“I know.” I can’t look at him. It hurts too badly. “You don’t have to be involved.”
“Do you think I’d walk away from this?”
“I think you imagine what it will be like to be a father, but do you really know?”
“Of course I do. I think about it all the time.”
“Nolan, your life would change. No, don’t talk over me, listen. I don’t want some absent husband that’s always at work and barely ever spends time with his own kids. I don’t want my child to be raised by nannies. I’d want you there, present, as often as you can be, an active participant. But I don’t think you get what that means.”
“I understand the sacrifice it would entail.” His fingers dig into the work table. “I know my life would change. But that’s exactly why I decided to marry you, Keely. Icravechange, almost as much as I crave you.”
I shiver but refuse to let him convince me that easily. “I know you think this is what you want, but I don’t want to take that risk. I don’t want my children to be raised by someone that resents them.”
He looks baffled, head shaking. “Resents them? Where is this coming from?”
“I’m only thinking things through, which you’re not doing.”
“This is my child.” He stares at me, and some of the rage from before begins to surface. “My child, Keely. You are my wife, and you’re pregnant with my baby. Come home. Stop this.”
“No,” I say, backing up.
“Keely. I’m not going to turn my back on you. I’m not giving up.” He comes around the work table, advancing on me with that too-intense attention.
“Nolan,” I say. “Please, stop it. I’m trying to decide what I want. This is all so confusing, and your family doesn’t make it any easier.”
