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Not that then.
“Brilliant?”
It’s going to be something less savory, but I enjoy annoying him.
“Amazing? Pretty?” I laugh, but he stops. The twitch of his lips stills me and my smile fades. “You think I’m pretty,” I sing-song.
Rolling his eyes, he secures the towel at his waist and walks to the bathroom. “Go find your phone. And Claire, it’s not pretty.” He glances at me from over his shoulder. “Pretty isn’t enough.”
He closes the door, leaving me with my hammering heart.
***
I find my flashing phone under my bed five minutes later.
My heart drops into my stomach.
Ten missed calls in the time I’ve been in Jake’s room. All from Amy and Jen.
What the hell?
Hands fumbling, I call Amy, but it goes to voicemail. When I finally get through to Jen, her voice is shaky.
“Oh, thank God, Claire,” she lets out.
“What is it? Is Amy okay?”
“It’s your mother. She’s having a meltdown, and no matter what Amy tries, she won’t calm down. She’s calling for—”
“Me,” I cut her off. I already know. “I’m leaving now. I’ll be there as soon as I can.”
I’m fumbling with the shoelaces on my boots when Jake strolls into my room.
“I need to go see my mother. I’ll be back later.”
“You’re shaking.”
I ignore him.
Why can’t I tie my laces?
He crouches, pulls my hands away, and begins tying my laces because I forgot how to perform a basic skill.
“Take a breath. I’ll drive you.”
“I’m fine, Jake. Nothing is going to happen.”
“I know. I’ll drive because you’re shaking.”
Deciding not to argue, I simply thank him and grab my coat.
It’s been a long time since Mama had a break like this. I should have seen it coming. I felt it the last time I was there. I could sense the distance in her, the disconnect from the rest of the world.
On the way, Jake rests his palm on my knee to stop it from bouncing. I try to concentrate on his touch, but I’m too distracted thinking about what I’m about to walk into.
I don’t know what version of my mother will greet me tonight.
When we pull up to my childhood home, my stomach knots. I hate this house. I should have burned it to the ground years ago.
