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She moves her hand back and forth, unsure. “I think she seems good. Well, as good as Mama gets.”
A punch of guilt knocks the air from my lungs. I want to help, but I want my mother to get better, and she won’t if I’m there. I’ve stopped visiting as often. Instead, I come to see Amy at the shop.
It’s no coincidence she’s getting better since I’ve stopped calling round. It hurts like hell, but the alternative is losing her completely.
“Doc prescribed new meds. They’re agreeing with her a little better.”
“Yeah, but I don’t think she’s supposed to wash them down with wine.”
She frowns but agrees with a hum.
My heart aches. I love my mother, and when I don’t want to wrap her up and protect her from the world, I want to grab her by the shoulders and shake her.
I want the mother I once knew.
I want to go back in time. Before that night. But going back would mean she’d suffer all over again.
“There’s nothing you can do, Claire. We’ve tried everything. You’ve tried to help her in every way short of kidnapping her and forcing her to accept help. It is what it is.”
But I hate what it is.
She takes a guitar from the wall. “What ages are the kids?”
Taking a deep breath, I beat away the shadows. I sit at the piano and start playing as Amy gathers instruments.
“Different ages. Not all of them will want to partake, but maybe ukuleles for the younger ones. Some music books too. Oh, and that karaoke machine over there. They can have fun in there when it’s not being used for lessons.”
“Are you teaching them yourself?”
“Nope.” I keep playing as I look up at her. Closing one eye, she studies me. “You are.”
She props her hands on her hips. “Excuse me?”
“You’re the best music teacher I know, and you always loved it. Is there an instrument in this shop you can’t play? I play the piano, and maybe some chords on the guitar, but I’m in no position to teach them. I need someone I can trust with the kids. We were those kids, remember?”
Her eyes pull together, but there’s excitement bubbling in her smile. “What about the shop?”
“It’s only two or three evenings a week when the shop is closed. Like I said, not all the kids will want lessons, and even then, the kids you teach will leave, and new ones will take their place. I just want to give them a start and pique their interest in music. Who knows? Maybe if it works out, we can start making plans for them to continue their lessons when they leave.”
Walking to my side, she kisses the top of my head. “Your heart is beautiful. And thank you.”
I spin around.
“You’ll do it?”
She rolls her eyes. “I suppose. It’s not like I have anything better to do.”
I pull her into a hug.
“I’ll get everything ready, and have the guys deliver it on Monday.” She tugs at a strand of my hair and tucks it back into the knot on top of my head. “Play for me? I might be better at everything else, but you still play more beautiful than anyone I know.”
My fingers get to work as she prepares what we need.
The bell rings, and I know it’s Jake. I don’t need to look.
In my peripheral, Amy takes a coffee cup from him as she whispers, “She’s in her happy place.”
I smile.
