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We’re like dominos by the time Jake pulls into the shelter. Beth is asleep on my arm, Hannah on hers.
I wake her with a gentle nudge. Hannah doesn’t stir when Jake takes her out and holds her securely in his arms.
No words are spoken until we step inside.
Mia holds out the apartment key, and I’m not sure how she expresses so much emotion in a simple smile, but Beth immediately relaxes into her hold, loosening her grip on me but never letting go.
“Oh, honey, he did a number on you.”
With the commotion, Hannah stirs in Jake’s arms. He puts her down, and she immediately goes to her mother’s side.
Beth doesn’t release her grip around my fingers, and I’m reluctant to.
“Why don’t we let Claire say goodbye to Jake? She’ll be right with us.” Mia nods at me and Beth lets go, finger by finger.
I turn away to hide it, but a tear sneaks past my defenses, lingering on my chin as I inhale a shaky breath.
The apartment door closes, and silence smothers me. I press my palms on my thighs as I lean over to fill my lungs.
“Fuck, Claire, I’m sorry,” Jake whispers, like he’s the one to blame.
Shooting up, I shake my head. “Don’t ever believe this is your fault. I’m still adjusting, is all,” I explain through a watery smile. “She’s lucky to have you.”
I mean it, but he stiffens, and I know there’s not an ounce of him that believes my words.
I use old tactics and dig my finger into his bicep. Truth be told, it probably hurts me more than him.
“You feel that?” I ask.
He scowls but nods.
“This is real. You opened this shelter to help these women. One just happened before your eyes. She’s lucky to have you.”
His neck jerks like he’s having trouble registering the message.
I hold his face in the palms of my hands, struggling on my tiptoes to reach him. “Thank you. Where would Beth have gone if a place like this didn’t exist? Don’t shit on yourself. You’re a good man.”
I fall back on my heels as he wipes the stray tear from my eye.
“And you?” he asks, struggling with the emotion in his tone.
“Trying to change history,” I answer honestly. I let my arms fall to my side. “I should probably check on her”
He stretches his neck but is quick to respond. “I’ll wait in the car.”
“I’m going to be awhile.”
“It doesn’t matter.”
He isn’t going to leave until he knows she’s settled.
“You can wait in my office.”
***
Jake doesn’t hear me when I enter the office an hour later. Elbows pressed to his knees, his head is in his hands. I can’t see his face, but his shoulders are hunched forward, every muscle in his back straining through his shirt from tension.
Gently closing the door, I walk to him and rest my palm on his shoulder.
