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I waited for the anger, for the punishment I surely deserved.
It never came. Instead, she squeezed my hand a little tighter.
Skip wrapped his hand around the back of my neck, unable to fight the tears as he pulled me close.
My body stiffened.
I had never seen a man cry.
Men weren’t supposed to cry, right?
“You had us worried, son,” he choked out.
Son?
There was a pinch in my chest, and the longer he held me, the more it hurt.
When he pulled away, I wiped a stray tear before he could see it.
He saw it, but he looked away because he knew what it meant to me. We both went on like it never happened.
I don’t remember much in the weeks that followed. I didn’t speak, thinking better of it. I put them through enough, and if I had to stay, it was best I stayed quiet. Skip gave me a job at the garage, working with some of the crew. I kept my head down and did my job.
He came down the stairs one morning and began loading the back of his truck with fishing rods and camping gear.
When he was done, he stood over me, wordless, until I finished slurping my cereal.
“What?” I grunted, feeling uneasy with his presence.
I was already taller than Skip, but there was always something intimidating about his presence. Maybe it was the fatherly nature, or maybe it was because he looked too much like my father. As brothers, their features were eerily similar, but Skip’s eyes weren’t as harsh, his face not as marred with years of self-inflicted abuse, his hair only peppered grey at the temples.
“Get dressed. We’re going away for a few days.”
The spoon clanked against the bowl before I crossed my arms over my chest. “I’m not going anywhere with you.”
Pressing his fists against the table, he leaned forward, only a breath away from my face. “Oh, but you are, boy. I’m sick of looking at you moping around this house. Get up and get dressed.”
Defiant, I dug the heels of my feet into the floor. “Isn’t it your birthday tomorrow?” I asked, like he had suddenly forgotten. Why would he want to go anywhere with me on his birthday?
“It is, and I’m choosing to go fishing with my son.”
“I’m not your son.”
He ignored me. “Let’s call it a man’s weekend. You consider yourself a man, don’t you? Or are you going to continue acting like a little boy with your temper tantrums and silent treatment?”
“If this is punishment for failing my classes, you can find someone else to go with. I don’t give a fuck.”
Another inch closer, and despite the long breath he let out, I could see his patience wearing thin. For some reason, I didn’t want to see Skip reach the end of his tether.
“The classes you’re failing on purpose? We both know you’re punishing yourself enough for that. I don’t need to do a damn thing. Now, move, boy. I’m done waiting.”
For the first time, I realized how much he could see right through me, see beneath the mask I thought was perfectly placed.
I was failing my classes on purpose. I always worked hard despite everything that was going on at home. My education was supposed to be my way out. It was the only way I could make a life for Archer and Jaxson
But they didn’t need me anymore.
Rage bubbled until my teeth clenched together.
