Page 134 of It Should Have Been You

Cora smiles. “Checking the camping gear.”

The year after our first fishing trip, we brought Jaxson and Archer along. It’s become a tradition ever since. “It’s not his birthday for another two weeks.”

She waves her hand. “You know how excited he gets.”

Hannah tugs at my sleeve. “Where have you been?”

Guilt churns in my stomach. “Sorry, kid. I’ve just been busy.”

“We missed you.”

We?

“I missed my favorite girls too,” I say, forcing cheerfulness into my voice as I ruffle Hannah’s hair. She immediately gives me a look that could kill.

No touching the hair.

“Ah, I see,” I hear Cora mumble at my side.

I give her a sidelong glance, but she only laughs. “You see what?”

“Nothing, love. I see nothing.”

We spend the next hour in their yard, the girls’ laughter filling the air. It’s the best distraction, their innocent joy momentarily pushing the nightmares to the back of my mind, but it doesn’t take long for Cora to call me back into the kitchen. When I enter, she pulls out a chair and places a sandwich on the table.

“You’re not eating,” she says, goading me to argue with her.

I know better.

She takes a seat in the chair opposite and bores a hole in the side of my face with that stare of hers. It holds some kind of magic. I’ve always been sure of it. “You’re getting attached.”

“No offense, this is a good sandwich, but I don’t feel myself getting emotionally involved with it.”

She rolls her eyes and pushes the plate toward me. God forbid I stop eating. She’s the reason I’ve needed to work out since I was sixteen. Food is her love language.

“You know that’s not what I meant. You came home early to see the kids.”

Arching a brow, I open my mouth to reply, but she simply points to the plate again. This is her way of telling me to shut up, eat, and listen.

“You did. No point arguing with me about it. I know you well enough. And don’t get me started about the way you look at their mother.”

I don’t meet her eyes. Not because I can lie. I can’t. But if I look at her, she will see exactly how true her words are. How Beth makes me feel like the ground has disappeared under my feet.

There’s a long pause, and for a second, I think she wants an answer, but then she says, “Logan, you might almost be forty years old, but to me you’ll always be that boy I took home when he was fourteen, and for the first time in so long, I see how scared you are.”

Shifting in my chair, I finally risk looking at her. She takes my hand and squeezes. “You’re not him, love. You’re not your father.”

How the fuck does she know these things?

There’s a form of agony I buried long ago, but now it’s jumping to the surface to twist in my gut. Her words hit a raw nerve always partially exposed.

“You’re letting your fear get in the way of your happiness, of their happiness. You think people don’t notice the atmosphere in the room when you and Beth are together? You would be wrong if you did. It’s special. It’s a feeling you grab hold of with both hands and don’t let go of.”

I don’t answer her with the response she wants. I can’t go there, not today. After the night I’ve had, it’s too raw. Instead, I force a smile and wink at her.

“Well, I’m not letting anything get in the way of me and this sandwich. I might be getting attached after all.” Another roll of her eyes. “Besides, I like to think I get my stubbornness from my mother. You know, the one who likes to feed me sandwiches when I’m not hungry.”

Her lips turn up into a shaky smile as tears she can’t fight brim in her eyes. Not one to show too many emotions, she stands and pats my shoulder. “My son, there’s more of me in there than you know.”

Source: www.allfreenovel.com