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I knew Katy was going to Mrs. Jones
house. I knew she needed a ride. I knew I might run into the dark-haired bombshell. What I didn't expect was to walk into the basement after Mike let me in to hear her talk about pleasuring herself with a vibrator. The way her fair skin flushed red made my lips twitch into a smile. Mike clears his throat next to me. I glance at him, and he chuckles. "Let’s go back upstairs." He says walking back up. I hear laughter and a groan from behind me. I smile at her embarrassment. Does that make me an ass? Maybe. I like knowing I caught her off guard. I also have a sick feeling of relief washing over me knowing she's still for the taking. Not that I can ask anytime soon. I will work on that. We reach the kitchen. Mike still has a smirk on his face. "Beer?" He offers opening the fridge. I shake my head. "No thank you, driving the sis." I respond politely. I try to be nice to all the new people I meet. I know Mike is one of the three officers in town. I need to be in his good graces, plus he is around the same age as I am so a new friendship could be in the cards for me. "So, what brought you to Tabor. Heard you’re from the big city of Des Moines." He states. One thing I've realized most people already know my business and I don't know how I feel about that. Sure, Des Moines is bigger. I still knew my neighbors. That's why we had to leave; it doesn't help that my neighbor was the same one Regina would always run to when she needed a fix. I leave that out of the story. "Needed somewhere new. Tired of big city living. Tabor was the first place that accepted Katy on." I pause a moment. Unsure if I should tell him my background. I decide not to. A wanna be baseball player that only went to minors and knocked up a one-night stand and made her my wife against my gut feelings. Doesn't exactly seem like a good conversation. When I'm ready, if I ever become ready, I will let someone know. Then I'm sure the whole town will. "I just got lucky to become the new coach after learning about Coach Morris retiring. It worked out." I casually shrug. He pulls a drink from his beer. Now I'm regretting not ringing one. Sure, we don't live far. But I've made it my mission to never leave my daughter alone. One beer or not. I can wait till I get home. Laughter erupts from the basement and shushing. "Sounds like a good time." I say trying to ease the awkward. "Yeah, Brandi and Laramie are fun have been since elementary school." He smiles. I furrow my brow. He is wearing a ring Brandi must be his wife. "Brandi is my wife." He pauses. "We were all best friends growing up. Alan, my best friend is Laramie’s late husband." His face turns somber. "I'm sorry for your loss." I say sincerely. I couldn't imagine losing Katy nor Chloe. He gives me a curt nod. As the girls ascend the stairs. Brandi runs over and wraps her arms her husband's neck and smacks a kiss on his cheek. Then turns towards me with her hand extended. I shake her hand with a smile. She's a pretty woman. Redhead and freckles with brown eyes that are glossy from the wine. "I'm Brandi this one's wife." She smiles at Mike; you can see the love she has for him in her eyes. I've always wanted that, someone to truly love me. Someone who stares at me like I wrote the stars in the sky. "And this one's bestie." She says nodding to Laramie who is standing at the edge of the island. She gives a small shy wave. Her cheeks still flushed. "Nice to meet you, Brandi." I nod to them. Katy stands in the doorway towards the foyer. Clearly ready to go. Laramie heads her way and gives her a hug. "Thank you for hanging out with us. I hope you'll do it again." She says sincerely. Katy gives her one of her shy smiles and shakes her head yes. She has always been quiet and reserved. Not outgoing like I was. Course I was into sports and girls, Katy was into books and school. Polar opposites for being just a couple years younger than me. She didn't cling to me until high school when I was a junior and she was freshman. I was the baseball star, and she was the bookworm. We had a good dynamic. I'd keep the bullies away; she did my homework so I could stay on the team. Granted, I was smart enough to do my own work, but what are little sisters for? I walk towards Katy, past Laramie. She smells of wine and something floral. It's almost intoxicating. "Thanks for having my sister over Laramie." A blush creeps across her bare chest. I finally take in the outfit she is wearing. Sweats and a thick strap tank top. Her cheetah sports bra poking through. Her hair is tied up on top with a few stray hairs on the side. She's naturally beautiful. She smiles at me and for a moment it feels like it's just us two in the room. I know I am thinking crazy, but I have to get to know her. No, Ineedto know her.I'm so fucked.
*****
"I’m not doing that Maverick!" Katy yells shutting my truck doorhard.She shakes her head as she walks up the porch steps. "Please. There's a connection. You see it." I counter, while she unlocks the door. She quietly sets her things on the entry table. With her shoes off and hair pulled up she climbs the stairs. I quickly run after her. Careful not to wake Chloe. "I can't!" She whisper shouts before heading to her bathroom. She locks the door behind her. I hear the shower turn on and quickly make my way back down the stairs. I know what I am about to do is an invasion privacy and definitely creepy. I can't stop myself. I pull up Laramie Jones in her phone and put her number in my phone. I place Katys phone back in her purse and put it on the entry table.
Making my way to my room I check in on Chloe. She's sleeping peacefully with a paperback on her face. I silently laugh before picking the book up and placing it on her bedside table. She looks like Katy as a young girl. Which means I'm in so much trouble when she's older. My sister is the pretty silent type. No man would ever be worthy of her. No man will ever be worthy of baby girl. I may regret her
mother. But I'd never regret her. She's the best thing that happened to me. If I had to go through Regina's bullshit over and over again just to have my daughter, I would. Funny how things work in life. I press a kiss to her forehead and head to my room. Taking my shirt off I turn on my fan and lay in bed. Laramie running through my head. Her big green eyes. Her perfect breasts. I pull up her contact. Typing out a message and sending it. Before I can stop myself.
-I want to know you. -
Chapter 5
Laramie
I groan as I wake up. A hard object pressed against my back. I turn my body slightly and see Jepp sleeping sideways with his feet against me. I chuckle when I see Jades head next to them. Quietly I slip out of bed and go to the ensuite bathroom. I don't look in the mirror too afraid of how I will look. I undress quickly throwing my dirty clothes in the hamper. I open the shower door and turn the handle to the hottest setting. This has been a ritual since Alan died. I stand under the water letting the heat pelt my back. It always stings just a little. Sure, at first it was to feel something other than being numb. Now I can't stop myself. Maybe I'll never get over the numbness I feel in my chest. The loneliness I feel. My thoughts drift to Maverick. He's all man. In his sweats and tight-fitting shirt, he was wearing. I am surprised I didn't drool when I looked at him. Then him overhearing my confession about my trusty B.O.B ugh. Brandi said he ate me alive with his eyes. The moment was intense. One I can't ever feel again. I've never had interest in another man until now. Maybe my loneliness is dawning on me.
A widow of four kids. A thirty-seven-year-old woman who’s only been with one man. One man Ican'tgive up on.Though I have too.No matter how many tears I've cried. He's gone. He is not coming back. But I'm still here. Living with our babies. The constant reminder of him. The reminder that I am not alone truly. But romantically and physically I am. That's something I have come terms with.
****
Ready to start this lovely Saturday. Jaxson has his first baseball practice. He told me not to come watch, but I have too. This is the first time he has shown interest since his father passed. I'd be a fool to let him do this alone.
With the kids’ toys, waters and snacks packed we load the car up to head to the next town over. I check my phone for the
first time today to see if Brandi is coming with. I see texts from an unknown number.
- I want to know you. -
My heart flutters staring down at the screen I read the next that came through this morning.
- Sorry, that was creepy. This is Maverick. -
I smile to myself. I decide against texting him back.
Make him sweat it out. Or makemyselfsweat it out. As I have no idea what the hell I would even say.
I buckle Jade and Jepp. Juliet and Jax use their car to drive over. I follow behind my husband's old car. I know I should have sold it to get money, but we were doing okay on my salary and Alan's life insurance money. I've put most away and paid down the mortgage some. I knew the twins would need a car eventually, so I kept it. I know Juliet wanted something more flashy than
an old Dodge Charger but she appreciates it just as much as Jax does.
Pulling into the little town of Randolph I get the kids out of the car, they make a beeline for the park with the other kids. I laugh grabbing the backpack from the back seat and my chair from the back. I almost drop my drink and chair when trying to close the hatch when large hands reach for my things. "Woah, careful there." I hear his dark raspy voice.God his voice.I slam the hatch shut with more force than necessary. Startled I turn around with the drink clutched to my chest, the chair now in his arms. He gives me a small smile. He's wearing athletic pants and a fitted t shirt exposing his broad shoulders and huge pecs, and those freaking tattoos.Agh. I stop myself from looking further down and redirect my gaze to his face. He has a full beard forming around his perfect lips. His ball cap backwards on his shaggy hair.Thump thump.My heart drums in my chest. Still looking at one another not saying anything, I reach for the chair, but he steps back. "Let me." He gestures towards the large baseball field. We walk side by side for a beat. I am unsure of what to say. How do I start up a conversation with a man? They did not teach me this in therapy.
"So, you want to know me huh?" I asked quietly, hating that was the first thing out of my mouth. He chuckles. "If you'll let me." His voice is strong. Dominant. He sounds like he's a man of power. And of course, my mind drifts to my late husband, because he is so opposite of him. I shake my head. Trying to rid the thought of him. "You can ask anyone around here about me. They'll tell you all you need to know." I say stopping just before we get to the uncomfortable bleachers. Hence why I brought a chair. He faces me, his blue eyes staring intently at me. Making me want to squirm. "I want to know whatyouwant me to know." He pauses stepping towards me. My legs tremble. "Not anyone else." He whispers before making his way inside the dugout. Holy crapola. Screwed. I am so screwed.
Chapter 6
Maverick
Practice is going well. The seniors are hands on with helping the newcomers. Something I have not been used to seeing in the big city. Some kids were helpful, but most were to self-righteous thinking they didn't need to help their teammates. Jaxson stands on the pitcher mound. Throwing strikes. Laramie and the kids watch him, they cheer for him each time he throws a good pitch. He shakes his head every time in embarrassment. I steal glances her way every now and then. Her focus solely on her son. I know she feels it too. This connection we have. It's indescribable, something I've not felt before. I meant what I said. I want to know what she wants me to know. I know she's a widow, has four kids. But I want to know her favorite food, favorite color, season, shows. What makes her happy, sad, mad? Though I know losing her husband is probably the answer to the last two. I lost Regina, but not in that way. She wanted out. Laramie’s husband did not.
Practice comes to an end. Volunteer coaches start picking up the practice bats, balls and gloves. “Thanks Noah, be safe at the Firehouse tonight.” I tell my favorite volunteer coach, he is a good man, you can tell he has been hurt. Ryan being the gossip Queen he is has told me a little bit about his situation with a woman who left here. Noah gives me a curt nod before heading off. I jog to catch up to Jaxson. "I need to talk to you." I tell him. He stops in his tracks. He's a tall boy, maybe 6 feet. I'm 6'7 he still peers up to me. "Yes sir." He says throwing his glove to his mom. She catches it with ease smiling at us. Looking at Laramie, I almost forgot I need to talk to her son. I shake my head. "Ryan!" I call out. He comes jogging towards us. "What’s up coach?" He questions. I face them both. "I want Jaxson to start the first couple of games." Ryan nods his head in approval. Jaxson looks shocked. I hear a gasp from behind us. Turning I see Laramie with tears in her eyes. "I'd love to sir." Jaxson says clearing his throat. I turn my direction back to him. He shakes my hand and walks away. Ryan stares at Laramie and I for a moment with a small smile pressing his lips. He then gives us privacy. Probably thinking of what he is going to gossip about next.
"Thank you." Laramie whispers. Wiping under eyes. I want to reach out and wrap her in my arms. I know all too well that would be inappropriate. "He hasn't played since his dad passed. He loved it. And this. -this is amazing" her voice breaks as she waves her hands, gesturing the ballfield.
I almost lost it when two little dark-haired kids ran up to her. "Mommy mommy!" The little boy yells. Handing her some rocks. "They're so cool huh?" She bends down to his level. "Oh my gosh. Those aresocool. I love them." She says and embraces him in a hug. "Wanna place them in the rock bucket, and we can paint them?" He looks at his mom with stars in his eyes and squeals. Laramie laughs. Kissing his cheek. Giving him the same look, he gave her.
