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She didn’t have a chance to say one way or another before Jay arrived. Janessa stared at him as he walked into the room. The strain on Jay’s face was immediately evident, and Janessa tried to swallow down the emotion that rose up inside her in response to what she saw in his expression.
“Nessa,” he murmured as he sank down in the chair on the other side of the bed from their mom. “I am so glad to see you awake.”
He leaned forward and pressed his forehead against her temple. She let go of her mom’s hand and lifted it to rest on the side of Jay’s head.
“You certainly gave us a scare,” he said. “I think I lost ten years off my life when we got the call about the accident.” When he straightened, he gave her a weary smile. “How are you feeling?”
“Sore. Confused.”
Jay glanced at their mom. “Is that normal?”
“Yes. Between the concussion and painkillers, it can be a little disorienting.”
“But everything is going to be okay?” Jay asked, his gaze bouncing between Janessa and their mom.
“Yep. They’re monitoring her concussion, and they’ll set her leg tomorrow.”
Jay frowned. “Why haven’t they done that yet?”
“They’ve immobilized it, but they want to make sure the swelling has gone down more before casting it. She had a large gash on her leg as well, so they had to stitch that up.”
Jay pulled his phone out, looking down at it as he tapped on the screen. “I was able to see Will before coming to you.”
Janessa’s heart skipped a beat. That must mean that Will had survived the accident. “Is he okay?”
Jay looked up at her, his brow furrowed. “You don’t know how he is? You didn’t ask Mom?”
Janessa glanced at her mom. “I was… scared.”
“Well, he survived the crash, but he hasn’t woken up yet,” her mom said.
“He’s still unconscious?” That didn’t sound good. The pain in her heart intensified at the realization that she might still lose him.
“He has some swelling in his brain, and there is concern about internal bleeding.”
“He’s also got a broken leg and arm,” Jay added, concern tightening his expression. “He’s in bad shape.”
Janessa didn’t want to hear that. She didn’t want to hear that Will had survived the accident but could still be taken from her.
How was she supposed to deal with that? Her fear made the uncertainty of that situation even worse.
There was no way she could handle the uncertainty. She’d never be free of that fear as long as she there was someone whose loss could completely devastate her.
How had she let this happen?
She’d gone from wishing for a rewind button so that they could go back and decidenotto go to Coeur d’Alene to wanting it so she could go back and tell Will no when he asked her out for that first date.
“Breathe, sweetheart,” her mom said.
“What’s happening?” Jay asked.
“I think she’s having a panic attack. It happened a little while ago, too.”
Janessa struggled to even out her breathing. Her emotions were a tangled mess, and she just wanted oblivion. She didn’t want to think about it. She didn’t want to deal with it.
But even as her panic eased, the pain remained.
“Can we get you something?” Jay asked. “Do you want to see Will? I can call his mom and have her put him on video.”
