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“Dunno,” Cal murmured, sipping his coffee, watching her walk toward him. “I’ll find out at the meeting.” Her blond hair, in another six months, would touch to her shoulders. Sky said she wanted it to grow long and be feminine. He was all for that, but she’d been an Army Medevac pilot and short hair was a helluva lot easier to deal with when wearing a helmet during flights than long hair. Cal was glad Sky was done with the military. Now, she could look forward to a happy life with him. Very few people knew about Sky’s prior life. It wasn’t something she wanted to discuss with hardly anyone except himself and her best friend, Lauren. Those two were thicker than thieves and Cal was glad Sky had such a loyal woman friend after arriving home with him.
Sky slid onto her stool and pulled over her mug. “Tomorrow, Lauren’s coming up and the last sewing adjustments on my gown are supposed to be done late in the afternoon.”
“Lauren being a sniper? She’ll eyeball that fitting just fine for you.” The woman sniper vet had become Sky’s closest confidant and friend. Because Sky had been on the run and trying to hide from Vlad Alexandrov, she hadn’t been able to make friends. She was never in any one place long enough to make those important connections. Now? She could.
Laughing softly, Sky said, “For sure. She’s driving the seamstress into a nervous breakdown, but I really want the gown to fit me well.”
Raising his eyebrow, Cal growled, “Sweetheart, anything you wear looks beautiful on you.” Cal knew there was going to be a wedding videographer and photographer at their wedding. Lauren had been behind that idea, and he could have strangled the red-haired sniper for the suggestions at the time. Cal wasn’t eager to be photographed or on film. It came from his SEAL background to remain hidden and remain in the shadows. But one look into Sky’s unearthly colored azure eyes, and Cal caved in on her request to have their wedding videotaped. Sky had never really had a family. Now, she had a cosmic family cobbled together between his SEAL team buddies and Lauren, who was a positive addition to Sky’s life. They were close, girlfriends who often went hiking or had lunch together usually at least once a week. Cal was glad because he’d seen Sky begin to let down her guard and start to shed that old self of hiding and wariness that had overrun her life in order for her to survive and remain hidden from Vlad.
“I know,” Sky groused, “but I want this PERFECT, Cal. I’m only getting married once, and,” she gave him and tender look and sighed, “someday, if we have children, I want to be able to pull out the video and the photo album and show them how happy we were on that day.”
His heart squeezed with fresh emotions. Cal had discovered that since living with Sky, it was impossible to keep his SEAL, non-readable facial expressions in place. He loved her, he wanted her happy and as a result, he’d become vulnerable for the first time in his life. His own childhood was a train wreck, too. Somehow, Sky’s husky voice, the emotions so clearly etched in her expression, just unlocked him like a safe. Every day, Cal felt emotions. Most of them good. Some bad, like when he remembered that he’d almost lost Sky in Peru. He still had the intense SEAL focus and was able to put his feelings aside, when necessary. Around Sky, Cal was discovering daily he wanted to feel the happiness she gave him by simply sharing her life with him. He had never envisioned being happy. That word just didn’t exist in his world.Until Sky. Until now.
Cal reached over, grazing her flushed cheek with his knuckles. “I want you happy, Sky. And we’ll be sure to have our wedding videotaped and you’ll have all the photos you’ve ever wanted. Okay?”
She gave him a grateful look. “Thank you… it means a lot to me, Cal.”
Setting his mug aside, he stood up and eased Sky’s cup out of her hand. “Come here,” Cal rasped, picking her up easily into his arms and carrying her into the huge living room. He brought her to the chocolate leather sofa and sat down in one corner of it, sliding Sky across his lap so that she could snuggle up against him. She rested her head on his shoulder, her hand sliding in a caress across his broad chest. “Tell me about what you just said,” Cal urged, wrapping his hand across her hip, his other arm around her shoulders, holding her close. He craved these intimate moments with Sky. He could tell by the darkness in her eyes that she was upset about something. As a SEAL, he was damn near psychic at times, his intuition so finely honed by nearly ten years of constantly being out in danger.
She rolled her head a little so she could meet and hold his warm gaze. “What? About the video and photo album?” Sky caressed the thick column of his neck, watched his eyes turn more golden, more intent like the apex predator he was.
“No,” Cal rasped, caressing her cheek. “You mentioned children. You’ve never talked about wanting a family before, Sky.”
Her mother was a drug addict and accidentally had gotten pregnant with Sky. The father was a druggie as well, selling meth and cocaine for the Italian mafia in Trenton, New Jersey, where she’d been born. Sky had been an unwanted accessory to their drug dealing business, basically abused by her father and ignored and left unprotected by her mother. At sixteen, Sky had run away, been caught by the police, and placed into state care. She’d been lucky for the first time in her life, given to foster parents Jack and Marielle Zimmerman, who taught her about family, love, values and respect. Cal wondered if Sky was opening up, dreaming, and wanting children of her own. He watched her expression closely and saw her struggling to put what she felt into words.
“Well,” she began, her voice low and fraught with feelings, “I’ve been thinking about that, Cal.” Sky gave him a concerned look. “But—”
“But what?” Cal purposely kept his voice gentle because Sky could pick up in heartbeat if he was upset. She was like a thoroughbred, super sensitive to everything and everyone around her. In truth, Cal admitted, Sky’s all terrain radar awareness of people and environment was what had kept her alive, kept her one step ahead of hunter Vlad Alexandrov, who had relentlessly pursued her to finish what he’d started: to rape her, control her, marry and force her to carry his children. And the bastard would have done it—and almost had—in Peru.
“Well,” Sky began, moving her finger nervously across his polo shirt, “how do you feel about children, Cal?” She bit down on her lower lip, studying him beneath her long, blond lashes. “Your father beat the hell out of you growing up. He was a drunk. And you protected Chad and Tracey, your siblings, from him. I can’t imagine, with that kind of experience, that you’d really want to have a family?” and she earnestly searched his darkening gaze for reaction.
“You were born into a cesspool, Sky,” Cal growled. “Your mother abandoned you, never protected you from your father who used to knock the shit out of you whenever he felt like it. Your experience with family is no different than mine: they both sucked.”
Squirming, Sky flattened out her hand across his chest. “I know.” She sighed and then offered him a soft smile. Picking up his hand, she pressed it against her belly, her hand over his. “But sometimes, when we make love, Cal, especially afterward, when you hold me, I wonder…”
Moving his hand gently across her rounded belly, Cal said, “You wonder what it would be like to carry my baby?” He always used a condom, never wanting to father an illegitimate child.
“Yes.” Sky released a nervous sigh and rushed on, “Because I love you, Cal. I never knew what love was until we met. I know I ran for two years from you before you finally found me again, but I was scared. Jack and Marielle Zimmerman showed me what a real family COULD be. THEY loved me, Cal. I had a year and a half with them, despite Vlad being there. And I discovered what love really was. I guess…,” and Sky nervously moved some golden strands of hair off her brow, “I guess that because I love you, I’ve been fantasizing about what it would be like to have your child,” and she peered up at him, holding his narrowed gaze.
Cal’s long, calloused fingers spanned her belly, gently massaging the area, the look on his face thoughtful. “How long have you been feeling this way?” he asked her, his hand stilling over her abdomen.
Shrugging her shoulders, Sky admitted, “About two months… Why?”
The hard line of his mouth softened. “Because, it was about that time, after we’d made love one morning and I was holding you as dawn was coming, that I wondered what it would be like to start a family with you.”
Gasping, Sky’s eyes widened as she stared up at him. “Truly, Cal? You’re not kidding me, are you?”
Cal felt bad. He constantly teased Sky. And sometimes, she didn’t know if he was teasing or being serious. He felt her tense, felt her joy and then her trepidation. He gathered her closer, his mouth grazing her lips. “Truly.” And he heard Sky give a little shriek of joy, her arms sliding around his neck, her lush lips searching against his mouth. Groaning, Cal drowned in the heat and hungry movement of her beneath him. Felt her quiver with possibility. Felt her hope. Finally, he eased Sky away from him. Her eyes shone with a luster that totaled his heart and suffused him with a happiness he never thought could exist between two people. It bubbled up and embraced him.
“Then,” Sky whispered, her voice trembling, “maybe we could think of starting a family?”
“Right after we’re married,” Cal promiser her thickly. They’d both been born out of wedlock.Unwanted and abandoned.
Sky felt tears burn in her eyes and she struggled to push them away. “Then… you’re okay with this, Cal? Really okay? You’re not teasing me? Right?”
He chuckled, the sound rumbling through his chest as he held Sky gently in his arms. “Really okay, Sweetheart. I’m dead serious about this, and I’m not teasing at all.” And then his smile dissolved, and he became somber. Leaning down, he pressed a soft kiss against her wrinkled brow. “Because I love you, Sky, there’s an urge in me to want to have children by you. They’ll be beautiful, like you, Sweetheart. And more important,” Cal rasped, kissing her closed eyes, “they’ll be welcomed with opened arms by both of us into this world.” He brushed her mouth with his lips, tasting the salt of her tears drifting silently down her cheeks. “We’ve come a long way together,” he told her gruffly. “We were brave enough to reach out, despite our pasts, to love one another. And because of it, we’re getting rewarded for that courage.”
Sky slowly opened her eyes, tears beaded on her lashes as she stared warmly up at Cal’s hard, weathered face. He was a man of powerful emotions, so often hidden, unavailable. But right now, Sky saw the raw love shining in his eyes for her alone. Reaching up, her fingers sliding against the hard line of his jaw, she whispered, “I want your baby, Cal. I want to feel her or him in my belly. Because that baby will have been created out of the love we hold for one another…”
