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“This is what we signed up for when we got patched in. The club and our Brother’s come first.”
“The club comes first,” she said. “It’ll always come first.”
* * *
That night,their words still haunt me. I stare up at the dark ceiling, my fingers absently tapping on my stomach.
Do I leave the club, or do I stay? Which comes first? My family, or my other family?
“Ez,” Kennedy says, her voice low.
I never thought I’d understand women when they said their parental instincts just kicked in one day, but today, I felt whatever that thing is inside me shift. Kennedy was chasing Skye, playing with her, making her laugh, and it was beautiful. Ian’s my son in all the ways that matter, but it wasn’t until I saw Kennedy sweep Skye into her arms that I realized I wanted another one. I want one that shares my blood. I don’t want to wait anymore. I want one now.
But can I do that? Can I ask Kennedy to give me a child when I’m still so tied to the club?
She rolls on top of me, straddling my hips as she stares down at me. “I was talking to you, and you weren’t listening,” she says.
“Sorry, love,” I mutter, and rest my hands on her hips. “What’s wrong?”
“I’m fine,” she says, resting her hands on my stomach. “What’s wrong with you? You’ve been in a weird mood all night.” I push her hips back, then drag them forward, letting the warm, firm press of her cunt against my soft cock stir it to life.
“I just had some stuff on my mind,” I say, lifting my hips. “Nothing for you to worry about.” She slides her shirt off over her head and tosses it to the floor. I slide my hands up the length of her body to cup her breasts.
“It’s my job to worry,” she sighs, rocking her hips. “Talk to me.” I slide my hand down and rest it on her stomach. She pauses, her eyes dropping to my hand.
“I want one,” I whisper. “I want a baby with you. Right now.” She rests her hand over mine, our fingers twining together.
“Me too,” she says. My eyes snap to hers, but she’s still staring at our hands on her stomach. “Maybe when we have a bigger place.”
“And you have my last name,” I add. “When both of you do.” Finally, she looks at me. Her lips tip up in a small smile.
“Alright,” she says softly. “We’ll talk about it again soon.” I nod, but don’t tell her I’m ready now. I want to get her pregnant tonight. My throat is tight as she leans forward to press her lips against mine. I press my lips harder against hers, feeling tears pool in the corners of my eyes. When she pulls away, her smile falls and her eyes widen. “What’s wrong?”
She pushes my hair away from my face, then gently strokes her fingers down my cheek to my jaw. Her touch brings me comfort, and I lean into it.
“I’m going to leave the club once we’re done with this shit,” I manage to choke out. She stares down at me in shock.
“What?”
“I can’t let anything come before you or Ian,” I rasp. “Or this baby when we have it.” My fingers flex on her stomach, and her hand tightens around mine.
“You can’t leave,” she says. “You—you love it. It’s who you are.”
“You’ve wanted me to leave since we first met,” I say, and she shakes her head.
“I was wrong.” I flick my eyes between hers. “I think it’s needlessly dangerous, but if you left, you wouldn’t be you anymore. I fell in love with you, Ez. I fell in love with Kiwi. If you leave, you’re leaving him behind and I’m selfish and want all of you. They’re your family. You’ll be miserable working a regular job, and you’ll hate not seeing them all the time. You need them as much as they need you.” Her words are frantic as she speaks, and it stabs me in the gut.
“Bash said the club and Brother’s come first,” I say, and she nods.
“I knew what I was signing up for when I got involved with you,” she says. “I don’t want you to give up a part of yourself for me. You’ll resent me for it one day.”
“That’s impossible,” I scoff. “That would never happen.” She rests her fingers against my lips as she nods.
“It could, and it will if you leave. If you want to leave because it’s somethingyouwant, then I’ll support you.” Her eyes search mine, willing me to understand and agree with her. “But if you’re leaving for me—” She shakes her head. “Don’t leave for me, Ez.”
I stare up at her, my mind and heart warring.
I know the club will always have to be my top priority. I’ve never thought about it before, but now that I have people relying on me, a family relying on me, can I really put anything before them?
