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“Does he make you happy?” he asks, and I take a deep breath.
“When he’s not being an insufferable ass, yes.” He cracks a small smile.
“And you make him happy?”
“He says I do,” I say, trying to ignore his earlier words.
“He’ll protect you and treat you right?”
“I didn’t know this would turn into an interrogation,” I say, laughing awkwardly. But he doesn't laugh. His face doesn’t shift.
“Will he?” he asks again, and I sigh.
“Yes,” I say. “He’ll protect me and you. I think he’d jump in front of a bullet for us.” He shakes his head, his brows furrowing.
“Not us,” he says, “you. Will he do that for you?”
I don’t know why it’s so hard to admit that yes, Ezra would burn the world for me. I know he would. His intensity, everything about him screams at me that he would.
Every reason I gave him why I needed to think about this, about us, was bullshit. I knew it as the words left my mouth, and I know it now. They were convenient excuses to give him because I’m scared. Scared of giving him my heart. He could easily crush it if he wanted, and that terrifies me.
But being alone, being without him, never seeing him again, terrifies me even more.
“Yes,” I finally say. “He’ll protect me and treat me right.”
“Then I’m fine with it,” Ian says simply. “I think he’s the only man who isn’t terrified of you.” I laugh softly, agreeing with him. “I think I like him, too.”
“Yeah?” I ask, smiling at the red creeping into his cheeks.
“He’s cool,” he says, taking a step back. “He said he’ll teach me how to surf.” I laugh softly again.
“You’re easy to win over,” I say, and he shrugs.
“Surfing and him treating you right, that’s all I need from him.” My heart squeezes.
“Ian, if he’s in my life, he’ll be in yours too.” His words flow through my head again. He called us his family. “I think he’d really love to spend time with you. I think he wants to build a relationship with you, without me in it.” He scrunches his nose.
“Don’t say it like that,” he says. “It sounds weird.” I bark out a laugh, then slam my hand over my mouth, remembering Ezno is still asleep. Ian waves his hand toward his bedroom. “He could sleep through a freight train.” I tip my head back, a small smile on my face.
“I’ll talk to Ezra tomorrow,” I say, feeling determined to make this work. I won’t let my insecurities and unsurities ruin this. I want him.
Kiwi
I’m done.
I’m done with Kennedy. I can’t handle this back and forth shit she has going. She doesn’t want me? Fine. She’s made it perfectly clear what she thinks of me and my club. I’m not giving up a part of myself because she’s scared. Because she doesn’t understand it.
I’m not leaving my family behind.
These men are the only people who have ever,fucking ever, made me feel normal. They’ve never once made me feel like a freak, even though I am. They know I’m crazy, they know I love the thrill of the kill, but they use it to their advantage. They don’t try to change me.
Maybe I should’ve told Kennedy about Heather sooner. Maybe I should’ve been more understanding about her and Archer. But there’s something about knowing your girl has slept with another man that just does something to your soul, as her man. She might be jealous or upset about Heather, but she isn’t murderous over it. Not like I am.
I have to reign it in every time I think about it. I have to force myself not to hunt the bastard down and slaughter him for thinking he had any right to touch my fucking woman. Even though I didn’t know she even existed at the time, she was still mine. She was mine the second she was conceived.
The fact I have to share her with Ian pisses me off, but that boy is fifty percent Kennedy, which makes him mine, too.
Itmadehim mine.
