AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Asking him felt weird, though.
I tossed the phone beside me and scrubbed my hands over my face again.
Even though I knew nothing would ever happen between Eli and me, it felt weird to go out on a date when I lived with him. Even weirder after our kitchen run-in. Both of them, I guess.
I needed to stay out of the kitchen when he was in there.
It wasn’t like I could have a fling with him while I was here. That would be wrong on so many levels. I should just go out with Benji. He was the safe choice—the choice that wouldn’t betray my sister, or wreck her entire memory. It also wouldn’t make me the biggest whore in the world if I chose Benji.
What was I even talking about? It wasn’t a competition. It couldn’t be.
Without a second thought, I grabbed my phone and typed out a quick and simple message.
Sure. Pick me up at 8?
Surprisingly, his reply came instantly.
Benji:
I’ll be there. See you tomorrow. ??
I stared at the heart emoji he sent and cringed. I’d never thought a guy sending a heart emoji was cringe before this moment, but here we were.
Eli wouldn’t send an emoji.
Fuck off, brain. I needed to stop thinking about Eli.
I stared up at the ceiling, and groaned again. God, I hoped this was a good idea and it wouldn’t totally backfire on me.
9
elliot
The bottles clankedon the seat next to me, and I glanced over, my stomach twisting with anxiety. Even though I’d planned on coming home for lunch, I didn’t. Things still felt weird between Reagan and me, and I thought it would be better for everyone if I just stayed away.
The less time we spent together, the better.
But I still felt bad for promising to come home, and not being there. So I stopped at the store and grabbed a couple of bottles of wine to hopefully make it up to her. I doubted she even noticed that I hadn’t come home.
Pulling into the driveway, I stared up at my house. It had never been fancy enough for Meredith. She’d wanted a bigger place, a two story with more bedrooms, and a formal sitting area. But this place was always fine with me.
Just three bedrooms, one story, just enough space for us to grow, but not so much it felt like living in a museum. It was homey, something I never had, and always desperately wanted.
When we moved in here after our wedding, she’d already been a few months pregnant. I asked if she wanted to take time off working to stay home with Emma. You would’ve thought I asked her to jump into a pool full of sharks from the way she’d screamed at me, telling me how sexist I was.
That hadn’t been my intention with the question. She’d just been so tired and was hardly sleeping, hardly eating. She hated being pregnant and was running herself ragged. I just thought she could use a few months to recoup before going back to work.
But that wasn’t what she wanted. She wanted to work until the day she died—shehadworked until the day she died. She never wanted to be a wife or mother, and I think a part of her always resented Emma and me for making her one.
I blinked, pulling myself out of the past. It didn’t matter anymore. Whatever she felt, whatever was wrong with our marriage, didn’t matter now.
Grabbing the bottles of wine from the passenger seat, I got out of the car, remembering my insulated mug at the last second. I stared down at it, still shocked Reagan had done this for me. It was such a small thing, but I didn’t think in all the years Meredith and I had been together had she ever done this.
She’d always told me she worked too, so I couldn’t expect her to go out of her way to accommodate me. And at the time, I’d always agreed, even if a part of me just wished she’d do something to show she loved me. To show she even fucking liked me.
I shoved the thoughts away and turned toward the house. With a deep breath, I made my way inside.
The rich scent of roasted meat and buttery potatoes hit me before the sound of Emma’s laughter. But once it did, I couldn’t help the smile that spread across my face as I shut the door, locking it behind me and setting the wine bottles on the entry table.
