Page 78 of Bad Decisions


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"I don't know if I can come back here," she said, pulling me from my thoughts. My blood turned cold as the words sunk in. Slowly, I pulled away.

"What do you mean?" I asked slowly.

"This town." She flicked her eyes between mine. "I can't be around my mother, and the people—" She let out a long breath. "I just—you and Lily are the only reasons I've come back. And Lily is moving..." She trailed off, her voice wobbling.

"And you don't want to come back," I murmured, finishing her thought. "Even for me."

"No," she rushed out. "I will. It's just—it's hard for me to be here, you know? This town holds so many terrible memories for me, and I feel like I'm always on edge, waiting for Mom to pop out of nowhere. I can't even go to the store without worrying I'll run into her."

"Your time here was really that bad?" I asked, and she pulled away from me fully.

"I was always in Meredith's shadow, always second best. Here, I'll only ever be her sister. I'll only ever be Mom's other daughter. But out there," she threw her hand toward the window, "I'm something. I'm someone."

"You're someone to me," I said, and she smiled sadly. "What would it take for you to come back to me? Moving?"

"I can't ask you to move—"

"You're not asking me," I said, stepping toward her. I reached for her again, and she let me take her hands in mine. "I'm asking what you need from me. Do you need me to move? I'll do it."

"You'd move for me?" she whispered, and I nodded. Emma wasn't in school yet and didn't have that many friends here. She'd adjust. I would too. If it meant Reagan coming home to me, I'd go anywhere she wanted.

"Say the word," I murmured, reaching up to cup her face. "And I'll give you the world. I told you that, and I meant it."

"I didn't know—" She closed her eyes as she leaned into my touch. "I thought you were just saying that."

"I don't say things I don't mean, baby," I said, and she opened her eyes. Her dark lashes were damp, and the whites were red. "Anything you want, and it's yours."

"But Emma—"

"Will survive moving," I said. I could see her mind working as she stared up at me.

"Your job?"

"I can find a new one, or commute if I'm close enough." She chewed on her lip. I held my breath, waiting for her answer.

"You can't move because of me," she finally said. I sighed and wrapped my other arm around her waist, pulling her to me again.

"I'll do it," I whispered. "I'll do anything for you."

"Would you travel with me?" she blurted, and I paused.

"I'd love to," I said hesitantly. "But Emma—she can't live like that. She needs stability." You need stability, I thought, but forced myself not to say. She deflated, and I held onto her tighter. "But we can make it work."

This was all hypothetical anyway. Yes, she was traveling to the retreats, but if Lotus never called her back, never actually hired her, then maybe she'd eventually stop. She'd give up and decide to stay here forever.

I didn't want her to not work at her dream job, but a selfish part of me wanted her here. I wanted to see her succeed and grow, but I didn't want to give her up to do it.

And I know that made me a monster to even think, but it's the truth. I wasn't ready to lose her.

"Right," she laughed breathily, dismissively, and patted her hand against my chest. "Of course."

"But if I could, I would." I didn't let her go. I refused to. "Let's worry about it when we get there, okay? Right now, you're here and that's all that matters." She flicked her eyes between mine as she swallowed thickly. Hesitantly, she nodded.

"Okay," she whispered. "We'll figure it out."

I knew she wanted a plan. She wanted to know everything that was going to happen, and truthfully, I did, too. But this was easier—pretending like this issue wasn't looming over our heads was easier than acknowledging that she'd be leaving soon.

Unless, maybe, I could convince her to stay.

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