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I could have that all one day.
“Reagan, you gonna come see your niece, or keep hiding?” Mom called. I bit down on my retort, wiping roughly at my face before turning back toward them.
Eli stared at me over his shoulder, and I knew he could see the emotion I was trying to hide. His face softened, but I shook my head, silently begging him not to draw attention to it—to me.
When I got to them, I pulled a chair from an empty table to the end of theirs and awkwardly sat, shifting my hands in my lap as I flicked my eyes between Mom and Eli.
No one said anything.
Tension rippled off Mom in thick waves, and I wondered if Eli could feel it. If the entire world could feel it.
“So, how was Bali?” he asked as he reached for the jar of sugar at the other end of the table. My mouth opened, but Mom snorted, cutting me off.
“Why you’d ever choose to go there is beyond me,” she said, shaking her head.
“It’s beautiful,” Eli said, and my eyes widened. “From what I’ve seen online, at least.”
“It is.” I nodded a few times, dropping my eyes to my lap. “I had a good time. I can’t wait to go back.”
“Go back?” Mom bit out.
“If I become an instructor, Lotus usually has a few retreats at Bali every year,” I explained. Her dark brow rose, and even though she was sitting down, she looked down her nose at me.
“First I’m hearing of it.” I winced. I hadn’t wanted to tell her about it. “I didn’t know you wanted to be an instructor anymore. I thought after the last rejection you were done trying with them.” I shrugged, glancing at Eli before dropping my eyes again.
“You said you feel good about it,” he said. “I hope you get the position.”
“You need a real job,” Mom said dismissively, and I closed my eyes.
Don’t take the bait.
Don’t take the bait.
Do not take the bait.
“Teaching yoga is a real job,” I said tightly. “It helps people—” She scoffed, rolling her eyes. I felt Eli’s eyes on me, staring at me, waiting.
“If you’re content doing nothing with your life, fine,” Mom said, throwing her hand at me. “But—”
“I wouldn’t say teaching yoga is doing nothing with her life,” Eli chimed in, his voice light. “She gets to travel and meet all sorts of people. That sounds like a rich life to me.” Mom’s jaw tensed as she stared at him.
I was just as shocked. I couldn’t remember a time that anyone took my side on anything. Had anyone ever taken my side? Now that I was thinking about it, I didn’t think so.
“I don’t understand why you’re both teaming up on me,” she said. “I’m just giving my opinion.”
I took a deep breath, forcing myself to remember all those breathing exercises I told my students to practice. Breathing wasn’t working, though.
I didn’t think anything would help. Actually, a lobotomy might.
“We’re not teaming up on you,” I said gently, but I knew she wasn’t listening anymore. I glanced at Eli, finding him giving me an apologetic look.
He understood. He always understood.
He was the only one who ever wanted to understand.
Meredith, as much as I loved her, was too much like our mother for us to really get along. I couldn’t confide in her the way a younger sister should be able to confide in her older one. I always knew the second we finished talking, she’d pick up the phone and fill Mom in on everything.
Then I’d get the tongue lashing of the century all because I wanted to open up to my sister.
