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I stiffened, my heart thumping. Every limb on my body froze, and I grasped at the side, folding my fingers over the metal. “Stop moving.” The words came out sharp as tacks.
Jonas shot me a wide-eyed glance. He stared at me for a long moment, concern in his eyes. “Are you okay?”
My pulse raced, my heart beating so fast I thought it would jump right out of my chest. The world around me spun, and I screwed my eyes shut. We were up too high, and every time the cage rocked with a gust of wind, I was sure I was going to die.
“Oh no, you’re scared of heights.” Jonas’s sympathetic tone would’ve embarrassed me any other time, but I could barely breathe, let alone feel ashamed. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t know.”
Neither had I. I’d never been anywhere to know that being this high up would scare the fuck out of me.
He shifted, and I couldn’t unglue my eyelids to see what he was doing until he was at my side, the cage rocking slightly. He slung an arm around me and pulled me closer, and I buried my face against his neck. The muscles in my legs were so tense they hurt, but I couldn’t move.
He wrapped me up in a hug, and I forced myself to exhale and inhale, though it wasn’t easy. The pain in my chest felt ready to explode.
“Shh. It’s okay. Just stay right here. I’ve got you.”
Fuck. How childish. I delivered drugs for a motorcycle club, and I was scared of heights? I would never live this down. Even Jonas must think I’m a loser.
I cursed under my breath and grabbed Jonas’s thigh, curling my fingers into his jeans, and he held me like he would never let go. The wind blew again, and the cage rocked harder. I tensed, but his hold only tightened.
“Nothing’s going to happen. The gusts aren’t too bad, and if it was dangerous, we wouldn’t have been allowed on. Trust me. It’s going to be okay.”
That didn’t help. I’d heard about accidents happening at fairs because of safety issues, and I’d never given the news a second thought—until now. It became hard to swallow.
“Ethan, tell me about yourself.” Jonas touched a palm to the back of my head, and I inhaled his woodsy scent, trying to focus on him instead of my possible death. “Have you always lived in the trailer park? When did you learn to ride a motorcycle?”
I kept my eyes shut and thought about his questions. He gripped me, and I squeezed him until my arms shook. “Uh, yeah. I was born in the trailer I live in.” I swallowed around the imaginary lump in my throat. “Uh. Fuck. Um, I’ve ridden a few times. Not a lot. I don’t have a license.”
“You don’t have a bike license?” He sounded genuinely curious.
I shook my head. “Any kind of license. I don’t drive. I mean, Ican, but I’m legally not allowed to.”
“But you do?” He tilted his head, and I felt him press his lips to my cheek, and it was nice. His mouth was warm, and he smelled good.
I laughed, some of the tension clawing my chest lifting and disappearing. “Yeah. I do.”
“What if the police catch you?” The concern was back in his voice, and I gathered some courage to glance up at his face and the way he frowned.
“Then they do. I deliver drugs. I expect to get caught one day.” I shrugged, but then the cage swayed, and I swore and pressed my face against the crook of his neck again. I brushed my lips to his hot skin, then nibbled, and he sucked in a breath. There was one way to distract myself... and that involved my cock getting hard.
“But you would go to jail.”
“Jail and prison.” I chuckled and smoothed my hand over his thigh. “Jail is before you’re given a sentence, and prison is after. Kind of prepared for that to happen.”
“But why?” His voice wavered and he sounded close to tears. “Can’t you do something different?”
I snorted. People like Jonas didn’t understand. Sure, his home wasn’t perfect, especially with overzealous religious parents like his, but at least he didn’t have to take care of himself and worry where the next paycheck was coming from. He didn’t quit school so he could go out and make money. Living as a criminal was my destiny, and so was ending up in prison, exactly like Leo had.
The cage rocked as the wind blew, and I gritted my teeth while my stomach shook with the movement. I focused on my hand and slid it higher, closer to his cock, but as if he knew what I was doing, he grabbed my wrist in a firm grip.
“I... don’t want to do that.”
I froze and a new sense of embarrassment washed over me, worse than what I’d gotten from being afraid of heights. I’d never had anyone reject me. I shot backward and the cage swayed, but I was so absorbed in what had just happened that I didn’t care as I put distance between us, moving to the other end of the seat.
He stared, mouth parted and bottom lip wobbling slightly. The sun sank behind some trees, and the lights blazed to life on the Ferris wheel, casting him in a reddish glow. He was beautiful, with dark hair that seemed to shine under the flashing lights.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered.
I wanted to tell him that he didn’t need to apologize, but I couldn’t form words. I wasn’t mad at him—I was furious at myself. I’d pushed, and now my face burned so hot I thought about throwing myself off the Ferris wheel anyway. Who cared about the height? It was better than sitting up here with him after what had just happened.
